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We all have our own sets of boundaries and things we are comfortable with when it comes to dating and finding love. So if you went through the trouble of listing all of that out in your dating profile, only to go on a date with someone who ignored all of that and then yelled at you in a restaurant, how would you feel?
This 20-year-old girl is in a pickle. She just started putting herself out there in the dating world, and she has made a list of things she absolutely will not do in a relationship, should she meet a man and it leads to a commitment.
The first thing she abstains from is physical romance. She does not like it, and she is not interested in participating in any activities related to it. She has previous trauma that has completely shut her off from this.
Her second thing is that she does not want to have kids. She’s the oldest of her siblings, and she was forced to help care for them, so that’s enough for a lifetime.
Her third thing is that she will not allow a man to pressure her into anything, and she won’t do the same back. No means no, and that’s it.
Her final thing is that she can’t stand weaponized incompetence and will quit helping a man out if he shows any signs of acting in this way. She’s not trying to be anyone’s mom.
“I have these rules clear as day in my dating profile, and I communicate them on the first date, so it wouldn’t seem like I waste your time,” she explained.
Yesterday, she went on a first date with a 22-year-old man named John. He came across as a genuinely nice guy to her, and he mentioned that he had read all the rules on her dating profile back when they started talking on an app.
He invited her out to dinner, and everything was great…up until it was time to pay their bill.
“He asked me if I would be coming home with him that night for what you all can assume, and I told him no. That was rule number one of my list. I don’t do or like [physical] acts, and he got mad,” she added.
“He raised his voice at me and told me that if that’s really true, then why am I trying to date and string him along? He called me a few colorful words before I had enough and put cash on the table for my meal and left.”
“When I got home, I went ahead and unmatched with him on the app, and thought that that was that. When I told my friends, 5 out of 6 of them told me I was in the wrong for stringing him along, and I should have told him in the messages leading up to the date.”
However, John had said that he already read the rules she set forth in her dating profile before he asked her out to dinner. The only friend she has who doesn’t think she messed up is her best friend from high school.
She’s left wondering if she was wrong not to make it absolutely obvious to John what her four rules are before meeting up with him for a date.
Throwing cash on the table and walking out on a man who was raising his voice and hurling profanities is an absolute masterclass in self-respect.
I just don’t get why John stated that he read her profile since he clearly didn’t do that. I think he most likely arrogantly believed that if he bought her a nice dinner, he could pressure or charm her into breaking her own rule.
Her high school best friend is the only one in her friend group with a working moral compass. Anyway, there’s not a single thing about how she is approaching dating that needs to change.
And the next time a man tries to test her boundaries, she should handle him in the same way. She’s doing a great job of letting the trash take itself out.
What do you think?
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