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A woman says what started as a promising first date quickly unraveled after an awkward goodbye kiss, a string of increasingly anxious text messages, and a final claim from her date that he “wasn’t even attracted” to her in the first place. The woman, posting as Affectionate_Bar_743 in Reddit’s r/dating community, shared the experience as a reminder for others to trust their instincts and prioritize their safety when dating.
According to the Reddit post, the pair had matched only a few days earlier. Because the man was about to leave for a two-week vacation, she suggested meeting before he left rather than waiting. She explained that they had good chemistry through messages and that she “honestly didn’t want to waste time on someone if the vibe in real life isn’t good.”
The man initially said meeting before his trip would be difficult, but later changed his mind and arranged a last-minute date. Once they met in person, however, she said something felt off.
The date went from bad to worse
During the date, she noticed he repeatedly seemed embarrassed by his own comments and frequently forgot details she had already shared only minutes earlier. She also felt he came across as deeply insecure and appeared to be overcompensating.
Despite those concerns, she said she hadn’t completely ruled out seeing him again. “He talks about how much fun he had, and he wants to meet again,” she wrote. While she wasn’t ready to commit to another date, she said she was already thinking about how to gently let him down if necessary because, in her view, “he didn’t fundamentally do something wrong.”
That changed moments later. As the date ended, she attempted to kiss him on the cheek. Instead, she alleges he deliberately turned his head so the kiss landed on his lips. “Sorry, I just really wanted to do that,” he allegedly told her after the unexpected kiss. She said the moment immediately made her uncomfortable.
Then came the texts
Later that evening, the man apologized by text for what he did. When she replied that she preferred to take things slowly, he suggested it would be better to end things altogether. She accepted that decision and didn’t respond further. But according to her account, the conversation didn’t end there.
Over the next several minutes, he sent multiple follow-up messages asking whether the first impression had been ruined, whether they should continue seeing each other, and eventually, “you can answer me you know,” after she didn’t immediately reply because she was at the gym.
She ultimately responded that it would be best to end things, explaining that his repeated messages and passive-aggressive tone convinced her they weren’t a good match. Rather than accepting the rejection, she said he began blaming her for wanting to meet too quickly and complained that he had rearranged his schedule for the date before deleting several of the messages.
After she wished him well and encouraged him to enjoy his vacation, she said his tone shifted again. “He tells me I didn’t reject him. I wanted to meet up so soon, and he wasn’t even attracted to me, so I shouldn’t even mention a rejection,” Affectionate_Bar_743 wrote.
Reflecting on the exchange, she added, “I am so glad that I did this through text. Who knows what would have happened if I did it in real life.”
She ended her post with a broader takeaway for fellow daters: “Please stay safe and follow your gut.” In an update, she revealed the man later apologized, blaming his behavior on being tired, but said she had no intention of continuing the conversation.
Other Reddit users said the experience sounded familiar. One commenter wrote, “Omg i also met a man like that once. Sometimes i think they just like self pity. He told me he was ugly and stuff, it got so awkward. He actually blocked me after the rejection when i was home.”
(Featured image: Javaistan on Pixabay, Image by Emily Rachel Poisel, CC BY 2.0)
