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People have different dealbreakers when dating someone, and one of them could be that they're...a smidge idiotic. Recently, people shared the moment they realized they were dating an idiot, and some of the stories are actually pretty hilarious. Here are the best, most jaw-dropping ones:
1."He had a tattoo of a compass where east and west were switched. He had drawn the tattoo."
2."We got into a fight because I told him that when we eat chicken (or any meat), we are eating the muscles."
3."She wanted to celebrate getting her boating license by taking her father's speedboat to Hawaii...from Los Angeles, California. When questioned about the distances involved in such a journey, she said we could pack some sandwiches. I like to think she's still floating out there in the middle of the Pacific."
4."He told me he only buys the Campbell's sipping soups that are packaged in plastic because the metal cans of soup 'always break his microwaves.' Not that he broke the microwave with a can of soup ONE TIME; he said the soup ALWAYS breaks his microwaves. Plural."
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5."She asked if they spoke english where I was planning on visiting. I was going to England."
6."She thought we lived inside the earth, because if we lived on the outside, we'd just 'fall off into space.' She said I was the idiot for not understanding how space worked. I had many questions: What do you think the sky is? Stars? The moon? Satellites? The SUN? But in the end, the only question that mattered was Why am I dating this person?"
7."When she said, 'One comma zero, zero zero.' I said, 'You mean one thousand?' She said, 'I never learned how to say any of the ones with more than three numbers.' The issue, more so, was that she refused to learn after the fact."
8."When cooking pasta, he insisted on keeping the water on low-medium heat and never on high for the water to boil. He'd get mad at me for turning the temperature up because 'the water will burn.'"
9."After being gone for a couple of weeks, I returned to our shared apartment and noticed the toilet bowl had not been cleaned. I asked him what happened, and he said that he wasn't going to stick his hand in the toilet just to clean it. Mind you, we had cleaning gloves and a toilet brush available. In recounting this story, I realize that he was fine thinking that I was sticking my hand down the toilet to clean it, and he thought he was too good for that type of labor."
10."I dated a guy back in 2004, right around when the Indian Ocean tsunami happened. We listened to the devastation on the news, and he turned to me and said, 'Let's never move to tsunami, babe.'"
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11."When he couldn't find toilet paper, instead of going across the street to the gas station, or using paper towels and throwing them away, or jumping in the shower to clean up, or calling one of his friends who lived only two buildings down for help, he used CLOROX WIPES and then called me at work to yell about how badly his ******* burned."
12."We were going to a hotel. We had some leftovers from our nice dinner in the car, but there was no fridge in the hotel room. He put the food UNDER THE CAR in the hotel parking lot to keep it cold. Raccoons ate the leftovers."
13."When she saw some dinosaur-related status I had on WhatsApp, she literally said, 'Do you really believe in dinosaurs?'"
14."I told him I always have really light periods (light flow), and he told me that was why I get acne. He further explained that since the 'dirty blood' doesn't leave my body, I get acne on my face."
15."He would just rinse off dishes and not use soap because he thought it was healthier."
16."When I had to explain that the Statue of Liberty is green due to oxidized copper, and that it's not made of green plastic."
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17."I went on one date with this guy when I was 20 or 21. He thought the works of Edgar Allan Poe were actually Shakespeare. He didn't realize they were two different people from two different times in history. When I tried to correct him, he doubled down on his belief. There was no second date."
18."As we drove through Chinatown, she asked me if China is a country. She was, like, 30 at the time."
19."My ex said that maybe we should have a kid to motivate him more, since the baby would drive him. He wanted to become a rapper."
20."I was vacationing with my then-boyfriend, and we went shopping for groceries to make dinner. I was in charge of the meal, so I asked him to keep an eye out for a whole chicken, as I wanted to make Jamie Oliver's Chicken in Milk (awful name, but tastes wonderful). My boyfriend said to me gently, like I was an idiot, 'Um, babe. They don't make whole chickens. You can't buy one chicken; they only sell the breasts and thighs separately.' The relationship didn't last long."
21."Mine wasn't until well after the breakup. He left and moved to Australia while I was pregnant. We had no contact until the baby was 2 years old. He asked me if our son has an Australian accent."
22."During a power outage, she wanted to use my solar-powered battery to run the tanning bed with the panels inside so it could charge the battery."
23."When she couldn't figure out which continent was SOUTH of North America because she 'wasn't good at geography.'"
24."She said she couldn't eat scalloped potatoes because she was allergic to shellfish."
25."Some stadiums that share an NBA and NHL team have the ice always there; it's just covered for NBA games or other events. My ex didn't know that, so when she found out, she said, 'Wouldn't someone notice the helicopter over the arena?' She thought they lifted the basketball court through the roof."
26."When she was perplexed upon seeing the moon and sun in the sky for the FIRST time. She was about 19 or 20, and she started explaining that she didn't know the two were 'separate.' I thought she was joking, but she was not. I learned a valuable lesson that day."
27."When she got into an argument with my sister because she thought that camels have humps solely for humans to ride them."
28."He didn't know how to tell when water was boiling on the stove because, 'I don't know, my mom always does this stuff.' We were third-year college students."
29.Lastly: "I was briefly dating a girl who had a trip to Canada and Banff National Park planned. We chatted on the phone for a bit, and after a couple of days, she got to the park. She then spent several minutes complaining about all the foreigners. We're American."
Well, that's enough internet for today. When did you realize you were dating an idiot? Sound off in the comments, or you can anonymously submit your story using the form below.
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
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