Millennials who still live with their parents are confessing how it's actually going, and it's eye-opening

There's nothing wrong with being over 30 years old and living with your parents. But for whatever reason, it's so common to feel ashamed about it. And because there's shame around it, those who do live with their parents don't talk about it enough, leaving the other adults who feel ashamed to suffer in silence. In an effort to break the cycle, I asked adults over 30 who live with their parents why they're doing it and how it's honestly going.

Here's what they said, truth and all:

1."I just moved in with my elderly parents. I’m in my 40s, and they are healthier than I am. I have a full-time job, but I can’t afford to live on my own due to disability and the cost of healthcare. The drugs and doctor bills eat up almost my whole salary."

2."My dad passed away suddenly two years ago. I was getting ready to move out after getting a job where I'd actually make good money. Then he died. I’m an only child and my mom’s had some heath issues, so I didn't want to leave her. I’m engaged now and we’re living with my mom while we look for a house to buy. My dad's dog and my fiancé's dog are best friends, so that’s been great to see. My fiancé moving in has helped because he's a buffer between my mom and I — we fought way more before he was in the picture. I have anxiety about us moving out because I feel guilty leaving my mom alone. I’m hoping us moving will push her to find more social opportunities and figure out what the rest of her life looks like without my dad."

3."It sucks! I moved in with my mother so I can put more money towards my student loan payments —the millennial dream! I appreciate her help and I’m grateful to be able to do this, but I feel like an angsty teenager again living with her. It has definitely impacted my mental health because this is not where I thought I’d be at this age."

4."I live with my single mom and have for years. We butt heads sometimes, but I wouldn't change it for the world. My mom and I are very close, and it's nice having her around to help me watch my dogs and foster puppies. I live in a very expensive part of Florida, and I wouldn't be able to afford to live alone in this city. I really lucked out with my mom. It's far from a burden to live together."

5."I'm in between career changes, so I’ve lived with my parents while I go back to school for classes. The reduced rent really helps since I can't work full-time. I struggled when my dad retired, as we were constantly in each other’s space, but now we have our own routines. I also like that I'm here, so I can look after our pets when they’re away rather than pay to kennel them. As for my dating, I don’t feel comfortable bringing people over, so it's pretty non-existent. But when I move out again, it’ll be back to 'normal.'"

6."I'm nearly 40 and still live with my parents, but I pay them rent. I'm disabled, so living on my own isn't really an option. I'm very lucky to have a great relationship with them. My mom is my best friend."

7."My job wasn't what I originally hoped to get with my Bachelor's degree, so I pay my parents rent to keep living at home. It's a lot less than most places in my area, about a week's pay. I work with my parents if and/or when I can, but my aim is to get a better-paying job later this year and consider my options, including getting my own place. The MBA I earned recently will help with that!"

8."I broke up with my fiancé about a year ago and had to move back in with my parents because he ruined my finances. I hated it at first. It was really difficult to walk that line of 'Our house, our rules' and 'I’m literally grown and can do what I want.' But things have gotten better, and outside of minor annoyances (like, why does CNN always have to be on), we’ve come to a place of mutual respect. I actually pushed back my plans to move out to take advantage of having fewer bills, and I’m working on building back my credit and eliminating my outstanding debts. I have breathing room to do things I couldn’t even dream of a year ago, like traveling and saving for a house. My parents can be a lot at times, but they’ve shown me kindness and compassion when I needed it most. For that, I am truly grateful to them."

9."After years of unanswered questions about my health (I’d randomly black out and then come back), I moved back in with my mom. And it was good thing, too — we found out that after two car accidents, not only did I have epilepsy, I had a hernia in my brain. Going home saved my life. I can’t wait for my two surgeries."

10."I am 34 and my mom and I bought a house together almost two years ago. It's been great! After my dad passed away, she sold my childhood home and moved out to live with me and my ex, then me and the ex broke up and sold the house we were living in. Rather than my mom and I fending for ourselves, we bought a place. We've always had a really good relationship, and I consider her one of my best friends. It doesn't come without some struggle. I do feel infantilized by her at times, but not often. We both pull our weight and contribute equally in managing the household. The only real issue is that I'd like to eventually live with my boyfriend of three years, but I'm not entirely sure what that'd look like."

11."I sold a townhouse in Colorado to move to Florida to be closer to family, and honestly, because of the high cost of living in Colorado. I’ve been living with my parents for almost two years because the housing market in this area sucks. The wild HOA fees, often $1,000-plus per month, in a lot of neighborhoods that are part of golf communities, aren't helpful either. I’m so freakin' over it. I desperately need my own space again, and I'm tired of being treated like a child by my mom and a dog-sitter by my dad."

12."My parents are separated, and around the time I separated from my partner, I lost my job and decided to go back to school. It did not make sense for both my mom and me to be paying a mortgage and/or rent when we get along so well. My mom also has multiple sclerosis, so driving isn't ideal for her, and I can obviously help with that."

13."When I moved to Florida, I moved them in with me because it's just too expensive for them to live on their own now. On the plus side, dinner's on the table when I get home, they help a lot while I'm working, and I just like their company. On the downside, it's my house, but they took over for things like decorating and organizing, and it just doesn't feel like my house anymore!"

14."I live with my parents because they have enough money to maintain my lifestyle, which consists of spamming 'W's' in Kai Cenat's Twitch chat. As a result of this free time, I have made a lifelong commitment to reach radiant in Valorant. Since moving back in with my parents, I have gained 120 lbs. and compressed my spine about six to nine inches. I guess you could say I'm low-mobility, high-utility. I think my parents are worried, but I'm only 41teen."

15."It sucks. I'm the only girl, the youngest of the family, and the only child between my parents (my siblings are from previous partners). I graduated college in 2016, and worked as a substitute teacher for four years because I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. When the pandemic hit, I thought it was the best thing ever because I was exhausted working with children, and I thought it would give me time to think about what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. Then, my mom got sick in 2021 and remained so until January of this year. I've been unemployed since 2020. My dad still gives me an allowance, and I feel so pathetic. Since 2022, I've applied to over 4,000 jobs. Everything from freelance work to janitorial jobs to fast-food restaurants. My dad keeps telling me how I need to get a job and that with my college degree, I can get a job in anything. But then he gets upset that I'm applying to any jobs."

16."Rent in my area is affected by a military base. They know the Basic Allowance for Housing that soldiers get and they want that entire amount, so they charge that amount. That means rent stays high even though we are not a big city. Homes are also out of reach. The cost can sometimes be upwards of $400,000 for a less than 3-bed, 2-bath home on less than an acre, and even for a poorly maintained trailer, the cost is around $180,000. So, living with my parents is tolerable. Do we get into disagreements sometimes? Yes. Do we also act like adults and get over it? Also yes. So, while it’s not ideal, and I wish I could buy a home and have my own space...I will continue to wait for the market to be right, wait for the right house to come along, and make sure I’m kind, courteous, and respectful of my parents' home and time while I live with them."

17."I've been living with my grandmother since I was 25. I live in New York in Northern Westchester County, where 10 years ago you could find a studio or 1-bedroom for under $1,500. Now, single bedrooms for rent in homes go for over $1,800. It's asinine. Nowadays, the average 1-bedroom is $2,500–$3,500. At one point, I was working three jobs and, even with my master's degree, I could probably only afford a Coleman tent in the woods. My grandmother is getting older and more forgetful, but I enjoy living with her. She lives downstairs, and I have the upstairs to myself. The first five to eight years I lived here, I pined for my own place because she didn't want me bringing people over, including friends and especially dates. But now, with this economy and the bleak dating scene, I am so thankful I live in a house with someone I deeply care about who has been a part of my life since I was born."

18."I moved back in with my parents after I finished my post-grad because rent is quite expensive even though I live in a small town. I have a decent-paying job, earning almost $60,000 a year, but rent averages $1,500–$2,000 per month, and none of the lower-priced places are actually decent places to live. I just don't make enough to afford a house I'd feel comfortable in. I would need double my income for that...and I'm single, so it's just my salary. But honestly, I'm also kind of scared to leave home. My mom is not in the best of health, and I worry about her a lot. When I'm at home, I can take care of her. I want to move out, but I don't want to leave my mom. It really is a bit of a dilemma."

19."I got a severe disease and needed a double lung transplant. Because of it, I cannot work and always have low energy levels. My living with them is mostly okay, but it depends on the day. Sometimes it sucks because my parents love to use the 'My house, my rules' or just make me feel guilty for living there."

—Anonymous, 34, Male, Oregon

20."I swear I'm not a loser. I only moved in with my parents after my mom started getting sick. When she died, I stayed with my dad to keep him company when I got off work. He’s 68 years old and retired. But I moved out two years ago, when I was 32. My dad was in an adulterous relationship with my then-wife. I learned that my dad had been cheating while my mum was sick. I have never felt more betrayed."

—Anonymous, 34, Male, UK

21.And finally: "I still live with my parents because I don’t know where I want to live, and I’m saving my money. I’ve been doing this for 13 years since graduating from college. Some days, it’s good because I can help them with things they need. Other days, I wish I lived on my own. I just haven’t figured out how to do that yet, or where I should live, or who I could live with. It’s hard for me to think about how I should live. I can’t take care of myself, and the cost of living has dramatically increased for most people. I’m tired of being told when to shower and when to go to sleep all the time; it makes me feel like I'm still a kid. I wish I could pay for some of my own things. For now, it’s okay to live with my parents, but I realize that I’m getting older and I won’t be able to do it forever."

If you're an adult still living with a parent or both, what's your story? Drop yours in the comments or the anonymous form below — your honesty will help others feel less alone and maybe even inspire those in a similar boat.

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