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Every generation leaves its stamp on wedding culture. The '80s had teased hair and mutton sleeves. The '90s had Carolyn Bessette Kennedy-inspired slip dresses and the Macarena. The 2010s had mason jars, chalkboard signs and the mass delusion that romance demanded to be celebrated in a barn.
So how will members of Gen Z, now in their 20s and entering their marrying years, make their mark? Weddings, after all, are about so much more than two people entering into a legally binding contract to take care of each other in sickness and in health — they're high-stakes (and often expensive) expressions of taste and identity that reveal what any given generation actually values.
Yahoo convened a council of 11 young brides, many of whom have been documenting their wedding planning online, to talk to them in depth about the unspoken rules guiding Gen Z nuptials — what's in, what's out, what's chic, what's cringe and what will make Grandma Betty short-circuit at the reception. Consider it a cheat sheet for anyone getting married, attending the wedding, footing the bill or simply trying to make it through the day unscathed.
A few of our findings: young brides gravitate toward an intimate gathering, but also love an exotic locale. They're charmingly sentimental about vows but ruthless about the guest list. They love tradition, except for when they hate it. They want whimsy, surprises, a wedding that feels uniquely like them. Above all, they want to throw a great party that also happens to look immaculate on the internet.
Scroll on to find out the 34 rules they're living by as they're planning their big days.
Aesthetics & vibe
Etiquette, boundaries & tradition
Guest expectations & experience
Social media & technology
Pick a hyperspecific theme with an accompanying moodboard — think "Monet," "circus" or "celestial whimsigoth."
Blame it on social media and our increasingly aesthetic-obsessed age, but weddings have themes now, hyperspecific ones beyond just, you know, big party where two people pledge their love and devotion to each other. The theme impacts your color scheme, your florals, your centerpieces, your dress code and so on. During the reporting of this project, we heard of themes including "Monet," "vintage romance" and, according to Pinterest, "celestial whimsigoth" for the alternative bride.
Anna Redman says weddings don't need to have a theme that guests are aware of, but it's helpful for wedding planners to have a brief to follow. Kira thinks anyone who has a theme needs to go all out. For instance, one of her friends chose "circus."
For this to really work, the vibe needs to be clear. Use all the fun adjectives you want — Liv is going for "joyous," "earthy" and "floopy" — but, please, get specific about your vision with a widely distributed mood board so your great-aunt doesn't get confused (she might ignore it, anyway, but at least you gave it your best shot).
Elope.
Maybe you've seen the photos on social media: the bride in a simple white dress, the groom in a blue suit, tying the knot at a courthouse, the romantic occasion set against the drab machinery of city government. There's something about keeping it this low-maintenance that feels effortlessly cool.
Even if you're not strictly eloping, many brides expressed a preference for keeping things intimate. Lauren's wedding had fewer than 40 guests. Vi, meanwhile, will get married in the Southern California desert with a handful of friends — they'll follow that up with a 50-person reception a few months later. "For me personally, I was never a girl who dreamed of having this big shebanging wedding," she says, noting that couples at big weddings often look a little miserable. "That and my fiancé is just a very private person," she adds. "I think our generation is very online but also weirdly in person, really private people."
Make it worth the PTO.
At the same time, destination weddings have never been hotter. It's often cheaper, for starters, to host your wedding abroad than to have it in the U.S., and with the right attitude, guests can make a fabulous vacation out of it. If people don't want to travel, well, there's more room on the guest list.
That said, the engaged couple needs to do what they can to make the hassle worthwhile — whether the wedding is in a tiny Italian village or at a resort in Cabo. "Do not choose a destination that is a four-hour drive from the nearest airport and requires a rental car," Kira says. It's nice if you have some attachment to your wedding location, so guests can get to know you and your spouse a little better.
Sorry, millennials: no mason jars, no Converse and absolutely no barns.
Pour one out for all the 2016 brides, whose wedding aesthetic these days looks so cringe that there's a whole TikTok trend about it. Gone are the days of barn weddings decked out with fairy lights and burlap ("I hate the barn ones," Vi says). Wave goodbye to drinking cocktails out of mason jars ("It's just not my style," Sheree says, diplomatically). Lauren briefly considered wearing white Converse before wisely pivoting to boots.
Embrace looking like a 2026 bride.
Yet Gen Z brides are also wising up to how impossible it is to have a "timeless" wedding — one that won't look cringe or outdated 10 years from today. It feels like a fool's errand to try to transcend what's trendy, especially in a time when we're more influenced by our algorithms than ever. How are you supposed to know if you actually like a long lace veil or if it's just something you've seen a million times on Pinterest? Who cares if bud vases with single stems eventually look old-fashioned? "I actually would love for my wedding to look like it's from 2026," says Anna Sitar (yes, we're got not one but two stylish Annas on our bridal council). "I hope that it says it was playful and casual."
But maybe cool it with the chartreuse and burgundy.
OK, maybe there is one trend from 2026 that's already jumped the shark. "Every time I go on Instagram or Pinterest, it's that same combo. I'm sick of it!" Sheree says.
Your wedding doesn't have to be expensive; it has to look expensive.
Many Gen Z brides say they've had it with the excesses of the wedding-industrial complex, and are finding creative ways to get what they want while sidestepping the exorbitant costs.
Vi is getting three different couture gowns made for her wedding events, but in Vietnam, where the dresses will cost her a total of $5,900, a fraction of what she would pay in the U.S. Lauren says she bought many things second-hand or vintage for her wedding, while also borrowing from friends. "Spending a dumb amount of money on a wedding is out," she says, especially since she and her wife were already saving up for fertility treatments.
Sheree is also taking a practical approach — she and her fiancé have set their total budget to $10,000, and they're adamant about sticking to it. Sheree's doing her own hair and makeup and they'll DIY other elements too. "You don't need to spend a million dollars to have an amazing wedding," she says. "I refuse to spend $20,000 just for florals. It just doesn't make sense to me."
Give it some whimsy.
It might seem counterintuitive to try to generate quirky, playful moments, but Gen Z brides are united in their quest for whimsy and individuality. Lauren's wedding reception involved a rollicking round of trivia about the couple, with older and younger guests playing against each other. Anna Sitar agreed that weird is good: "I went to a wedding in New Zealand three months ago at Hobbiton and it was immaculate." Most brides expressed a certain kind of disdain for a "cookie-cutter" wedding devoid of personality.
So go ahead and deliver your vows in Elvish. This is a party celebrating the relationship between two people, quirks and all.
But one bride draws the line at dogs on cocktail napkins.
Sonali says she's all for originality, with one important exception: leave your pets out of it. "Because the dog's gonna die and you're gonna look back at your wedding photos and you're gonna be sad," she says. She'll also venture to say pet-themed decor is "slightly cheugy."
Sonali's getting married in Cabo. Suffice to say, her dog is staying at home.
Ditch the bridesmaids.
The era of 8 bridesmaids, all outfitted in identical dresses, serving at the pleasure of the bride and standing up in a neat row with her at the altar, is rapidly coming to an end. Gen Z is done with the traditional wedding party.
First, there's the enforced hierarchy. "I felt like I was going back to the MySpace era when I was trying to think of who would be my best friend — who's ranked my No. 1 and who's ranked No. 5? Who's not making the cut?" says Anna Redman, going so far as to call it "cult-y." Moreover, bridesmaid selection tends to breed drama, says Vi, and tons of friendship breakups transpire among brides and their court.
There's a general feeling that bridal party culture has spiraled out of control. "It's like, 'Come to six events, work the wedding, wear this dress, have your hair this certain way and you can't cut it before my wedding,'" says Lauren. "It can get a little bit out of hand."
Then, there's the matter of the much-maligned bridesmaids' dresses. "Everyone wearing the same exact dress is nightmare fuel for me," Brooke says.
Nonetheless, a more informal inner circle that hangs out with the bride or groom, attends all the important wedding events and is generally there for the couple is perfectly acceptable. "I'm going to have girls that I get ready with the morning of the wedding, and I love the idea of them all wearing their own version of their favorite dress," Anna Sitar says. "I don't know if they're going to stand up there with me, though, or if they're considered bridesmaids."
But get ready to make some sacrifices if you're in a wedding's inner circle.
That doesn't mean that you're free from all obligations if you happen to be close to the bride or groom. It's not just buying corny T-shirts or greeting in-laws or getting up at the crack of dawn to get your makeup done. Being chosen to be a cherished co-star at the event indicates there's an expectation to take a deep breath and do what's asked of you to make your friend's dreams come true.
"You get to walk down the aisle, or you just get to be around the bride on her special day and really live in those moments with her. And that's such rarefied air. It's so special to breathe that," says Kira.
You should probably know the bride well enough to anticipate whether she's going to ask you to help with flowers or attend a zillion events or wear something goofy. Brace yourself accordingly.
Don't be a wedding dictator (i.e. a final verdict on the slicked-back bun discourse).
It's a question that's haunted weddings for generations: As a bride, how tyrannical can you actually be?
Many Gen Z brides draw the line at telling their crew what exact dress to wear or how to do their hair and makeup. "Your friends will have the most fun when they feel their most confident," Spencer says.
So, can you ban slicked-back buns for bridesmaids because they don't match the vibe? Sure, but you risk coming off as if you've lost the plot. "As much of a dictator as I am in my own life, I can't do that with all my friends. They're already coming out to Italy to see us get married. I don't want to give them a job," says Meghan.
Plan your own bachelorette and cover the costs.
Gen Z isn't killing the bachelorette party, despite its documented excesses. They still want the girls' trip, whether it's a weekend at a lake house or a flight to Mexico, complete with matching merch and a villa. What they're rejecting is the idea that celebrating one person's looming nuptials should become everyone else's financial and logistical headache.
Sonali planned her own bachelorette because, she says, "People have their own lives. I don't want to burden anyone." She also covered the group's Airbnb to soften the cost. Brooke thinks that's how it should work. "If you're insisting that your friends go on the trip to your destination of choice on the dates that you choose, the bride should at least be doing a few nice things for the group."
Anna Redman loves a bougie trip, but she thinks the more you're asking people to spend, the more the weekend should feel like a vacation everyone enjoys, rather than four days revolving around the bride. "You really need to be thinking about the guest experience," she says.
Opting for something simpler altogether is an option too. Lauren skipped the destination weekend in favor of a pizza night — her friends made presentations about who the brides should marry instead. "I loved that we did something nontraditional," Lauren says. "And I wish I did that three more times because my abs hurt the next day from laughing so much."
Get really comfortable with saying no.
It's undeniable that planning a wedding is an exercise in holding the line for what you actually want and resisting external pressure. "I feel like a lot of brides are like, 'I don't know how to say no to my family. I don't know how to say no to this or that,'" Sheree says. "It is you and your partner's day. Focus on that."
Take a cue from Sonali, who had to let a family member down after they mistakenly assumed their daughter would be the flower girl at her childfree wedding. "I'm, like, who the f*** said that?" she says. "I never said that once."
Let people hear your mushy-gushy vows.
Who hasn't been gripped with emotion at a wedding ceremony for two people they barely know? Don't underestimate just how much people love listening to vows. They might be a deeply personal, eternal pledge of love and commitment, but they're also an excellent source of gossip, insight and ooey-gooey feelings — a natural way to entertain guests at a wedding.
The traditional "in sickness and in health" spiel is nice, but people love hearing details. What have you fought about, what's important to you and what silly names do you call each other? Heartfelt vows aren't just for show; they remind people why we keep doing this whole wedding thing in the first place. Spencer says that's at the core of why she wants to have a wedding — she wants everyone to hear how much she loves her soon-to-be-husband. That's what the ensuing party is meant to celebrate, anyway.
Honored guests should make their speeches emotional too. It's only fair! "I want to hear from the most important people in our lives how — selfishly — we've changed them and how our relationship has come to fruition," Kira says.
Do a cheesy first dance and toss that bouquet.
The under-30 set has surprisingly strong sentimental attachment to certain old-fashioned wedding traditions: wearing white, first dances, walking down the aisle with your parents, the bouquet toss and so on.
"The first dance makes a massive statement about who you are as a couple. Song selection is everything," Spencer says. Meghan agrees: Doing a prepared choreographed dance is fun, just cut it off after about two minutes. Anna Sitar can't wait to do her bouquet toss.
Some brides feel that traditions rooted in outdated gender norms can still be redeemed. "The idea of being 'given away' feels a little outdated, but I want my parents there with me for that special moment," Meghan says.
But garter tosses are gross.
Gen Z brides are unified in their hatred for one tradition in particular: The garter toss, in which the groom suggestively slides a garter down the bride's leg, then flings it into the crowd. "I would probably pass out from embarrassment doing that in front of my dad and my future father-in-law," Spencer says.
"Why is my man going under my dress in front of my dad? No. You couldn't pay me to do that," agrees Sheree. References to sex and virginity just aren't the vibe for a party meant to bring together families.
Keep your dress a secret.
The concept of a "first look" — letting the groom, in particular, get a peek at the wedding dress before the bride walks down the aisle — is often convenient for couples and photographers alike. It's a great chance to sneak in a private moment and get some photos taken before the big event officially kicks off. But does it dull a bit of the sparkle of the ceremony for this expensive, fabulous, long-dreamed-about gown to be revealed before its big moment?
Spencer really wants to preserve the tradition of letting the dress be a huge surprise. She's going to keep things under wraps from her future husband (and most other people) until she walks down the aisle. Anna Sitar too is anti-first look and is resisting the impulse to show her fiancé the dresses she's considering. "I would love to see him the morning of the wedding. Maybe get a coffee to go," she says. "But when I'm in my dress, you will see me down the aisle."
Fire the flower girls.
Remember how much Gen Z brides love whimsy? Say hello to the adult flower boy, an emerging wedding trend where a couple of dudes take over the job of sprinkling petals down the aisle before the bride, usually dancing along to a silly song. It's goofy, unexpected and a sly reversal of gender norms. Lauren gave the job to her brother and cousin and has no regrets.
Think carefully before taking your parents' money.
No one in our bridal council had anything critical to say about people who choose to let their parents chip in for the wedding — financial situations are so personal to navigate — but one clear guideline emerged: If your parents are paying, they're allowed to have a little bit of influence. "If I were getting a fat check from my parents, I'd be like, 'Whatever you want,'" Anna Redman says.
Sonali is getting help from her dad. As such, "It's my wedding, but it's also my dad's wedding," she says.
Brooke recommends having a sense of what your parents might want from your wedding before accepting the money. Meghan feels strongly that, no matter what, the bride and groom should maintain control over the guest list. Boundaries have to be discussed frequently and candidly.
Throw your mother-in-law a bone.
Leave the stereotype of the meddling mother-in-law behind. Rather than treating her like the enemy, many Gen Z brides are finding small ways to include her in the wedding planning.
That doesn't mean surrendering the seating chart. It can be as simple as inviting her to the tasting or asking her opinion on a few details — even if the bride gets the final say. "I personally think it's up to the bride and groom and the mother of the bride to plan the wedding," says Liv. "But if you're able to include your mother-in-law and make her feel part of it, I think it matters more than most brides realize… You're just like, 'You matter.'"
Brides like Meghan and Spencer see the lead-up to the big day as a chance to build the relationship they'll have long after it. "I actually helped my mother-in-law pick out what she's gonna be wearing to the wedding, and she loved having my help," Spencer says.
Hire an Etsy witch.
Rain on your wedding day is said to be good luck. Today's brides are respectfully declining the opportunity to test that theory.
In addition to having practical contingency plans for bad weather, many brides are also embracing a little internet folklore. "I highly, highly, highly recommend it," says Liv, who hired two Etsy weather witches, "in case one didn't work." After a torrential downpour the night before her outdoor wedding, she got "the most gorgeous day of the summer" for the main event.
The Etsy witch isn't replacing the backup plan — it's Plan C. "You have to have a Plan A and a Plan B for weather," Anna Redman says. "I don't play. I'll pay a witch. I'll bury a sausage in the backyard." Others have their own rituals. Kira is sticking with rain dances and a few prayers.
Once you've spent tens of thousands of dollars on a wedding, a little magical thinking starts to feel like a perfectly reasonable investment.
No gifts, please.
Being gifted a 60-piece china set once signified a couple's official passage into adulthood and a new chapter in their shared lives. With many couples now getting married later and cohabiting before that, that's no longer the case. There's also the fact that no one ever knows where the good china even is. "I've literally never seen my parents' china," says Brooke. "Where is it?"
Many of her friends have opted for dramatically pared-back registries (for family members who insist on gifting) or honeymoon funds. The most generous maneuver? "It is a really classy move to just be, 'No, we're all set, we don't need anything,'" she says.
Don't invite anyone who hasn't wished you a happy birthday in the last year.
When it comes to the guest list, our Gen Z brides agreed: you've gotta be brutal.
Kira doesn't want to be meeting any new people on her wedding day, not even plus ones — she'd rather meet a friend's new boyfriend for a drink before the wedding. To her, it's not as much about budget and capacity as it is about the vibe. "It changes the intimacy," she says. "I don't want to look around and be like, 'Oh, hi, nice to meet you!' On my wedding day! No, no, no, no, no!"
Both Meghan and Anna Sitar say they're using the test of whether a guest has wished them a happy birthday in the last year. Meghan is applying it to family members too, while Anna says she doesn't want to spend her wedding catching up with people she hasn't spoken to in ages. Liv, meanwhile, uses the FaceTime rule: "If you can FaceTime someone and they're going to pick up and you feel comfortable, they're invited," she says.
But don't be too stingy with your plus-one policy.
Paradoxically, many brides are being more generous with their plus-one policies, within reason. After all, you don't want your guests to feel stranded.
"If you're going to come to a wedding and you don't know many people, you automatically get a plus one," says Anna Sitar. Brooke agrees, especially for guests traveling from out of town. "It makes people feel more comfortable," she says. "It makes them feel more included and important in your life."
That doesn't mean everyone gets a date. Kira would be less generous with a plus-one for a cousin, since they'll already be in good company with family. But a friend flying in alone? "They need a plus one," she says.
Alcohol is for boomers.
Reader, the Gen Z wedding trend that made us clutch our millennial pearls the most was this generation's ambivalence toward, or outright disdain for, alcohol. Vi came out, guns blazing: "I think open bars are stupid," she says. "They're like $10 to $20 grand. It's such a waste."
She and her fiancé do plan on having alcohol at the wedding — "for the five boomers who are coming" — but opted for a curated list of mocktails and cocktails instead of an unlimited free-for-all. Anna Sitar, who doesn't drink herself, says that you don't need alcohol for immaculate vibes. "As long as there's like a little sparkling apple juice in my hand all night, I'm happy. I'm good," she says.
Nonetheless, taking care of the guests' drinks in some form or fashion is still the standard. Cash bars are tacky as hell. "If I'm traveling to get there … and I bought you a gift, I just want a drink!" Meghan says.
If you do throw a black-tie wedding, guarantee a black-tie experience.
If you're going to ask your guests to don tuxes and ballgowns, know that black tie isn't just a dress code — it's a promise about the kind of night guests are signing up for. "I have seen that discourse, and I agree," Brooke says. "If you're gonna call your wedding black-tie, it needs to be a black-tie experience."
"Greeting your guests with goody bags … giving some sort of a map, a welcome itinerary, using thick envelopes, thick stationery," Liv says, ticking off some of the qualities that make a black-tie evening feel special. "You're making sure that their butts feel comfortable in those chairs. You're making sure that they're guided to the cocktail hour where there's plentiful food. You're making sure that the band is a luxury experience."
A successful wedding is all about setting expectations, and choosing black-tie means you've set the bar high. "If you're expecting your guests to give, you need to give a hundred times more," Liv adds.
Skip the cookie-cutter party favors. Nobody wants a mug with your face on it.
If your wedding favor is destined for the back of someone's junk drawer — or worse, the trash — you should skip it.
Though custom merch for engagement parties and bachelorettes is all the rage, guests are getting tired of going home with monogrammed mugs and champagne flutes. "I don't like that because then I go home and I throw it away and I feel bad," Vi says.
Instead, couples are finding subtler ways to leave an impression. Lauren skipped the gifts and instead folded paper planes, leaving handwritten notes inside for each guest. Liv designed leather rosettes from her family's business that doubled as napkin ties. "We encouraged people to take those items that were symbolic, but didn't say 'Liv and Kyle down the aisle,'" Liv says. "You need to do things that are tasteful, that people will use time and time again."
Show your gratitude.
Bucking against the stereotype that young people are less bound by formality than previous generations, brides seem determined to make their loved ones feel appreciated — not just with generic favors, but with thoughtful, personal gestures.
Liv automated emails to every member of her family for the morning of her wedding, so they'd have a heartfelt thank you waiting in their inbox before the day even began. "I just wanted them to wake up with love, and I didn't want it to be something that would get lost in the mush of everything," she says.
Even the old-fashioned handwritten thank-you note is sticking around. Brooke knows they're a bit old school, but says they're worth it. "I love receiving them," she says.
Resist social media pressure.
Scroll through #WeddingTok for 5 minutes and you can easily become convinced that you need ice sculptures, an over-the-top flower arch, a 6-piece orchestra playing Bridgerton covers and a $20,000 wedding dress for the day to be worth it.
It's important to give yourself a reality check. "Social media has definitely pushed this narrative of having these grand things, and people need to realize when you see these things, they cost a lot of money," Sheree says. "People think, 'Oh, this is the new normal.' It's not."
Sonali made a whole separate TikTok account while planning so wedding content didn't follow her around and make her agonize over every decision.
Enforce posting rules.
A rogue relative waving their phone around during the ceremony can ruin the vibe, but so can awkward photos of the bride and groom shared lawlessly on social media. Our brides agree it's perfectly fine to have phone and posting rules.
Many couples are, at minimum, opting for unplugged ceremonies where guests are asked to put their phones away ("It's kind of giving paparazzi," Brooke says, of turning to see your guests and seeing a sea of phones). Anna Sitar says she and her fiancé are considering having an entirely phone-free wedding.
Some brides are asking guests not to post at all during their weddings — or to wait until the official photos have been shared. If you've spent all this money to make everything look as good as it can, it's only natural to want that to be your wedding's digital legacy.
Kira, on the other hand, thinks letting guests post freely is the best way to make sure everyone's living in the moment. "Posting live just makes it a little bit more special for the guests and being able to actually enjoy the moment rather than hold it all in," she says.
Shell out for a wedding content creator.
Gen Z brides who are familiar with the artistry and hard work required to maintain a social media presence are outsourcing the job on their big day. Along with a florist, videographer, photographer and caterer, they're also hiring wedding content creators, whose job is to capture vertical video throughout the day.
Someone else should stress about making sure every moment is captured on an iPhone and strategize about the trending sounds the bride and her posse will use to show off their transformations. "Leave it to the professionals to capture those moments so that you can be present with someone you love," Anna Sitar says.
But don't have a TikTok shot list.
At the same time, resist the temptation to make the day all about the cute TikToks you're going to post. Many of our brides, who are also content creators, don't want their wedding day to feel like work. "People are making Excel sheets and they're putting like 50-plus TikTok trends and transitions they need to complete," Vi says. "I think it's really cringe."
Be ready to be shot out of a cannon if you use ChatGPT to write your vows.
Young people may use AI for everything from meal planning to trip itineraries, but wedding vows are the final frontier. Across the board, brides agreed: let ChatGPT organize your seating chart if you must. Just don't let it profess your love.
"I absolutely hate it," Meghan says. "What's the point of getting married if you can't come up with your own thoughts and feelings for your partner?" Anna Sitar agrees: "I can tell when it's not you."
And if your spouse-to-be furtively uses ChatGPT to write their wedding vows? "Grounds for divorce, I'm so sorry," Kira says. "Maybe an annulment."
Brides aren't expecting their partners to be a Taylor Swift-level lyricist. "I'm not looking for Shakespeare here," Anna Redman says. "I still want to hear what you think about me." Sonali, who uses ChatGPT every day, says she'll happily sound "like a third grader" if that's what it takes to keep her vows authentic. As Kira put it: "AI is genuinely the antithesis of vows."
This story is part of The New Rules of I Do, Yahoo's exploration of how Gen Z is rewriting weddings — the traditions they're keeping, the customs they're smashing and what everyone needs to know before they RSVP.
