13 men are getting real about why they cheated on their partners and, uh, wow, these are honest

I don't know about you, but personally, I can't think of a worse end to a relationship than infidelity.

Well, actually, it would probably be worse if, in the night, aliens took the roof off of the home you and your significant other share, beamed your partner into their UFO, probed their hippocampus until they had no memories left of you (only you), and then released your partner back into the world as a perfect stranger, thus ruining the beautiful life you spent the last few years building together. But cheating is still really bad, too.

We recently asked men who have cheated on a partner to share why they did it and what happened after. And, look, you can (and probably will) say a lot about these stories we're about to share with you, but you can't say that they're not incredibly candid. Like, I was actually gagged by it. So, with that, here are some of the most brutally honest responses:

1."I have been married for over 15 years. I love my wife, and I will never want any other person as my partner in life, but her childhood trauma has affected her relationship with ***. In our 15 years of marriage, we have been intimate a total of five times. The last time was over a decade ago. I have taken my ****** satisfaction into my own hands...literally. I was not looking for an affair, but after a decade of no ***, I forgot the power of touch from a woman. One night during a business trip, a coworker kissed me and made me feel sexually wanted. A feeling not felt for nearly 15 years. I melted and felt accepted, desired, and seen as a ****** person. The validation was intoxicating. I more than just gave in. I drank it up like a man in the desert without water. I think about it now and wish it had never happened. I regret being reminded of what making physical love is like."

—Anonymous, 44, Male, California

2."My wife is asexual."

—Anonymous, 80, Male, North Carolina

3."For myself, it's just obeying Man Law, which means if a woman offers herself to you, you must obey the laws of nature. Doesn't mean we don't love our partners or intend to hurt. It's just following our evolutionary patterns."

—crunchyorc22

4."Simple enough, she's 15 years older than me. She couldn't accept that I wanted her and only her, so she constantly accused me of cheating when I wasn't. After seven years of being faithful and being accused of cheating, I finally cheated! Oddly enough, when I did cheat on her, that's when she stopped accusing me of cheating. She never found out I cheated, but she was ****** about a year after we broke up when she found out I had moved on."

—Anonymous, 40, Male, California

5."I'm married. It happened about ten years ago, and it was a full-blown affair, not a one-time event. The other woman was also married, and neither of us was actually looking to leave our spouses. There was not one single reason, but a combination of failed communication, insecurities, resentment, and thrill-seeking. My wife eventually found out about it, and it obviously created issues, but it forced us to reevaluate who we were as people and as a couple."

"Of course, I take full accountability for what I did, but after lots of work and therapy, we came out of it better than before. We joke that if I hadn't done what I did and shocked the system, we probably would have gotten divorced. We have raised three great kids and are on our way to celebrate our 18th anniversary this year."

—Anonymous, 46, Male, Portland, Oregon

6."I was a 20-year-old male in peak physical shape and very insecure. An ex saw how happy I was in a new relationship, and suddenly she wanted me back and let me videotape the 'encounter' after a drunk night at our frat house while my new girlfriend was out of town. I got caught because I was so drunk that I forgot the video existed, and I always have an open phone policy with my partners. Broke her heart. Broke mine too."

—Anonymous, 42, Male, San Diego, California

7."I love variety and, as I've gotten older, it has actually been easier. My job has always provided many opportunities to meet people, and when we click, I feel comfortable, and nature takes over. Life is not meant to be boring, and you have to make it fun."

—Anonymous, 50, Male, Various states

8."I met someone at work when I was in a relationship and living with someone. I figured out that this person I work with is my person. Like, my one in a million. But I felt like I was in so deep and couldn't get out. I was living with someone and married them while dating and loving someone else. It was hell. Each time I was with my wife, I couldn't stand her, and still can't. When I was with my true love, I felt so **** happy. Well, it finally caught up to me, and my true love found out, and I lost her. I regret it every day and, still to this day, three years later, I still think about her each day. I regret not speaking up sooner, or else I wouldn't be on so many meds and depressed."

—Anonymous, 42, Male, Ohio

9."After 14 years of marriage, I gradually became someone I didn't recognize. I felt overwhelmed by stress, emotionally disconnected from myself and everyone I loved, and sexually disconnected from my wife. Instead of being honest about how lost and lonely I felt, I kept it inside. I started looking outside my marriage for the validation, connection, and sense of being wanted that I was missing. I knew it was wrong, and I knew it could destroy everything, but I chose it anyway. The affair wasn't caused by my marriage; it was the result of how I responded to my own pain and the problems we weren't addressing together."

"I take responsibility for that choice. We built a life together over 14 years. We raised a young family, shared a home, and weathered life’s challenges. Over time, though, we drifted emotionally. We became more like partners managing life than two people intentionally staying connected. Instead of recognizing how isolated I had become, willing to get help for my unresolved issues, and talking openly about it, I withdrew. That distance created vulnerabilities in me, but my decision to have an affair was still my responsibility."

—Anonymous, Male, 40, United States

10."I made the worst mistake of my life. No excuses. I was in Vegas alone and drinking, and fell to temptation. We stayed together for another five years, but ultimately divorced. The marriage had issues on both sides, but the cheating was the reason we couldn't get past it all. We divorced on good terms, and are still best friends, and for that I am very grateful."

"She deserves the world, and I failed to give that to her. I have nobody to blame but myself, and to this day, I would still do anything for her. She even tells me about her dates. I hope she meets the perfect guy and I wish her nothing but the best, but if a man ever abuses her, then he will have problems with me."

—bubblysmoothie624

11."Self-destruction. Ending a marriage was taboo in our religion, and I was unhappy and didn't know how to deal with it in a healthy way. I was so insecure that I couldn't fathom my wife would actually want to stay with me if I was honest about certain things I was wrestling with. So I tried to take the easy way out and irreparably damage our relationship. Incredibly though, she reacted in a way that positively shocked me, and we've been reconciling ever since."

—Anonymous, 32, Male, United States

12."Very simple, I could do nothing right in her eyes. I was always seeking acknowledgment and approval. During ***, which I practically had to beg for, she would ask, 'Aren't you done yet?' I decided then that I deserved to find a woman who enjoyed physical intimacy."

—awkwardoctopus246

And, finally:

13."I cheated on my wife over multiple years with many, many, many men. I grew up in a very repressed culture and got married because 'that's what you're supposed to do.' I love my wife and have two sons that I would never regret, but I was never sexually attracted to her or any other woman. After getting caught, we stayed together and never told anyone else (besides our therapist). I quit cheating for a while, but have resumed hookups recently to fill that gap in my life. Not proud of how I have hurt her, but I will always have something missing."

—Anonymous, 56, Male, Mississippi

Thoughts?? If you've had a similar experience where you cheated on a partner, feel free to tell us about it in the comments. Or, if you prefer to remain anonymous, you can tell your story via the form below.

Your daily brain workout: If You Can Solve These Word Chains, You Officially Have The Most Impressive Vocabulary Of Anyone You Know

You Might Like: "Before Those AC Bills Start To Rise, Set Up Your Home With These 21 Products"

You Might Like: "35 Things You’ll High-Five Yourself For Buying *NOW* At The Start Of Summer"

Also in *** & Love: "Women Are Shared Their Best *** Tips That Men (And Everyone Else) Should Know"

Also in *** & Love: "Take This Quiz To Discover What's Really Driving Your Attraction"

Also in *** & Love: "People Are Sharing The \"Last Straw\" That Made Them Finally Dump Their Partner"

Read it on BuzzFeed.com