Women are sharing the “silent rules” they secretly live by, and I’m ready to adopt some of these

In r/AskWomen, someone asked, "What is a 'silent' rule you live your life by that most people wouldn’t know just by looking at you?" People wrote in with a long list of helpful advice that I'm seriously going to be taking notes on. Here's what they said:

1."Nothing matters and were all gonna die anyways, so find joy in the small things."

2."Once you complain about the same situation about four times, I no longer listen. If we’ve come up with an understanding of what happened and how you can execute your solution, then I don’t want to hear about it anymore."

—deleted

3."It’s a skill to know when to shut the **** up. My dad taught me that. Because I didn’t know when to shut the **** up. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Miss that man."

—Struckbyfire

4."Within 10 mins of meeting and talking to someone, I know what kind of person they are and can determine if we're compatible as friends...and I stick by it. This superpower has never failed me."

5."I will quietly disappear from someone's sphere if I learn or catch them being mean. If I see it, I will call it out if it's safe. Otherwise, I'm just not around them anymore. No announcement or justification. I will also boot people from group chats for the same thing. People see me as an easy-going, bubbly person. I am. But I am too tired to accommodate people who are arseholes."

—8Nim8

6."When an opportunity to break from routine comes up, take it. Life passes by too quickly for us to stick to the expected. People think I'm a reserved person and mistakenly take that as non-adventurous, but I'll say yes to anything out of the routine most times. Happy to be Robin with Batman, and those have been my best memories. Those opportunities come around less and less as you age, so live it up!"

—delta_wolfe

7."Observe first. Then act accordingly. Never go in half-cocked."

8."This is hard for me to explain. I hope it comes across. We are both insignificant and bigger than we think. I always save bugs instead of squishing them, cut up plastic drink holders, never litter, and always use my turn signals, etc. I know that, as one person, I’m not making an impact on the world, but small connections keep me aware that I'm part of a huge world in which we have an impact. It makes it easy for me to always be kind and choose forgiveness over revenge. I can’t imagine living my life as some do, carrying around anger and resentment for days, weeks, years. I am not so important that anything said or done to me matters, so I don’t see the point in retaining those negative feelings and letting them have an impact on my life."

—KaeTaters

9."I mentally prepare for any emergency in any public place I go. I look for exits, places to hide, safest direction to run, how to protect the people with me, etc. Mostly, it’s mass shootings or fires that I prepare for. I'm also hyper aware of protecting my belongings and who’s around me in dark or secluded spaces."

—talepa77

10."Everyone's an idiot. Me included."

11."I have no issue providing the gift of goodbye, and my '**** you' is forever."

—LadyDomme7

12."If you’re not willing to attempt to solve your own problems, then you ARE part of the problem. Some people just want to complain, or live in suboptimal conditions, or work a job they hate, etc., etc. They don’t actually want to do what it takes to change or improve their situation. Those are not my people."

—Responsible-East1772

13."Yolo. Walk away from things, people, and circumstances that don't serve you or have your best interests. Also, I may look friendly, but I'm not. Quite the opposite. Friendship with me is earned. I don't give that privilege out to all."

14."People always reveal themselves in time. If you can see that someone is a tricky person, but no one else can, just give it time. Their mask always falls eventually."

—Cute_Positive_4493

15."Be kind!!!! There are enough assholes in the world. I don't need to be one of them."

—magdawgkilla

16."Never let the important things go unsaid."

17."Be reliable."

—JournalistNo1660

18."I never start **** with people, but I will definitely end it."

—PleasedPeas

19."What someone is going through is an explanation and not an excuse for their actions, and it doesn't make them okay. My dad taught me this when a friend was being terrible to me in middle school, and it's really helped me reflect on both my own actions and the actions of others in my life."

20."Treat small chances seriously. Sometimes they end up being followed by bigger chances which are life-changing in a positive way."

—Giannandco

21.And lastly, "Without exception, show authenticity and seek it in others."

—suzemagooey

What do you think think of these "silent" rules? Do you have any to add? Let us know in the comments! Or, if you prefer to stay anonymous, you can fill out the form below.

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