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When we think of treating ourselves, our minds immediately go to grand purchases: enjoying two weeks OOO on the Amalfi Coast, scoring US Open finals tickets, or clicking “add to cart” on that vintage purchase you’ve been eyeing. And while all those fabulous things can make anyone happy, a little reflection shows there have been plenty of times you’ve found pockets of joy without having to apologize to your credit card.
Especially now, as many find themselves on a tighter budget, being frugal with your money doesn’t necessarily mean cutting out every small thing you love. In fact, experts advise against it. “A $4 bouquet of flowers or a scoop of your favorite ice cream can deliver a surprisingly high emotional return for a very small financial investment,” says Thea Gallagher, PsyD, clinical associate professor of psychiatry at NYU Langone Health. “Our brains are constantly weighing costs and benefits, and when something provides a lot of enjoyment without much sacrifice, it often feels especially satisfying.”
Consider this our case for the “micro-treat,” because treating yourself isn’t just a saying to justify a “silly” purchase.
“When we choose a treat for ourselves, we're also engaging in an act of agency,” says Gallagher. “We're saying, ‘I noticed what I wanted, and I responded to it.’ That can feel especially meaningful in a world where so many people spend their days taking care of everyone else.”
The Health Benefits Of Small Treats
Gallagher says that when used intentionally, small treats can offer many psychological benefits. “They create moments of positive emotion,” she explains. “Which helps buffer against chronic stress.”
Being More Mindful
Slowing down long enough to savor this small, but enjoyable treat helps reinforce self-care; it reminds you that your needs matter. It can also interrupt the monotony of busy routines, she says, which is especially important for parents, caregivers, and people with demanding jobs.
Supporting Healthy Habits
These small treats may also help strengthen healthy habits. She explains that, in general, consistently rewarding behaviors you want to continue — think therapy, exercising, or finishing a challenging task — increases the likelihood that you’ll keep doing those things in the future. So she encourages patients to celebrate progress instead of waiting until they’ve reached their goals. “We often think motivation has to come first, but behavioral psychology teaches us that reinforcement helps create motivation over time,” she says. “You don't have to wait until you've lost 20 pounds, finished writing a book, or completed a huge project before acknowledging your effort.”
Boosting Your Mood
Finally, she says that small treats can increase positive emotions without costing you a fortune. She points to research that shows looking forward to something pleasurable can improve your mood — sometimes almost as much as the experience itself. “We often think happiness has to come from expensive vacations or major purchases, but well-being is usually built through repeated everyday moments of pleasure, connection, and meaning,” she says.
When To Be Careful
There is a fine line between enjoying small treats and solely relying on the emotional high of a purchase. Gallagher explains the biggest concern when it comes to these inexpensive buys is when they start to become your primary way of regulating emotions. “If every stressful day ends with online shopping or spending money, we can begin to associate emotional relief exclusively with purchasing something,” she says. “That may prevent us from developing other important coping skills like talking with a friend, exercising, journaling, resting, or simply allowing uncomfortable emotions to pass.”
Plus, when you constantly treat yourself, it can stop feeling special. What is known as hedonic adaptation, she explains, is that we as humans quickly become accustomed to pleasurable experiences. We have to remember that what makes a treat feel rewarding is its occasional nature. She encourages people to ask themselves this question: Am I moving toward something I genuinely enjoy, or am I trying to escape something I don’t want to feel? “That distinction can often tell us whether we’re practicing intentional self-care or emotional avoidance,” she says.
Small Treats To Buy Right Now
Even when it feels like nothing costs $5 these days, there are small treasures out there. Some of the best small treats are the simplest, and they can include:
- Your favorite latte from your local coffee shop
- A vintage mood ring at a flea market
- A scoop of ice cream in the middle of a heat wave
- A used book at an independent book store (check those $1 bins!)
- The Trader Joe’s limited edition tote bags (You may have to wait an hour in line, but as someone whose mom calls her in excitement every time she scores the hot ticket item, this adorable $2.99 tote bag might be worth it.)
- Italian Cola (a recent — and deliciously happy — discovery at one of my favorite New York City restaurants when I wasn’t indulging in a glass of wine)
- A chocolate chip cookie from your favorite bakery
Gallagher often tells patients that, as adults, we sometimes stop reinforcing ourselves. She goes on to explain that these “token economies” set up for us as children, where we got stickers and prizes for the little things, fade as we get older. Somewhere along the way, she says, we expect adults to simply push through life with no rewards at all. “There’s nothing psychologically unsophisticated about intentionally celebrating your effort,” she says. “In fact, decades of behavioral science suggest it’s one of the best ways to build sustainable habits while also making life a little more enjoyable.”
But again, she encourages everyone to think beyond shopping; the ultimate goal is about pleasure. “The common denominator isn't the object,” she says. “It's giving yourself permission to experience a small moment of joy.”
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