SerpApi.Org
Toddlers are known for their wild range of emotions. One minute, they're snuggly and sweet and the next, they're in full meltdown mode, throwing an epic tantrum. As parents, it can be a struggle to learn how to help little ones regulate their powerful feelings in a way that's healthy and won't cause them too much trauma later on in life.
Faith Carter is a mom from Syracuse, New York who shares all about her daily parenting journey on TikTok. Recently, Carter shared a powerful post showing one of the ways she helps her daughter calm her nervous system when she's in the throes of a toddler tantrum. Particularly relatable about Carter's post is her confession that she hasn't always done things the way she does now.
"I have a confession," she wrote in the caption of her TikTok, "I used to punch holes in my walls … When my son was exactly my daughter's age, I would go from 0 to 100 with no idea how to process the intense deregulation I would feel, then pop, which only dysregulated him even more."
"Now, five years later, my daughter is at the exact same stage he was, and guess what?" Carter continued. "Those very same feelings bubble up inside me. But, I am learning to use tools that I did not have before."
In the video clip, Carter's toddler daughter cries and screams, experiencing a full-on, toddler-style meltdown. As she cries, Carter plays relaxing music and dances, moving her body and destressing her own system. Eventually, the little girl takes note and joins her mom in dancing, changing from tears to smiles and regulating her emotions.
"When a gazelle escapes being chased by a lion, its body shakes for one to two minutes, then it is able to go right back into grazing with no residual stress from the situation that it just experienced," Carter wrote. "Dancing, moving, and shaking our bodies feels silly, especially when we've been tight, clenched, and locked up all day. But it not just releases feel-good hormones in your brain: When you are dancing, playing, and regulating your own nervous system, it is contagious and will regulate theirs."
Carter's post is a beautiful example of how we, as moms and dads, can set the tone for our kids' reactions. In fact, more than 3,000 people have left mostly-encouraging comments on the post, with some sharing their own ways of calmly helping their kids regulate their nervous systems.
"I walk round the room pretending to sniff saying ‘Oooh what's that smell,'" said one. "My 2 year old follows suit, forcing those deep breaths without her knowing. Calm is restored."
"I do this, too," said another. "Now when my 2 year old is crying, he runs to me saying ‘You wanna dance?' Depending on what his tantrum is about we either do a high energy dance or slow dance and he melts into my shoulder as we sway. It's the cutest thing ever."
