SerpApi.Org
Disclaimer: This article is based on actual news from the real world – honestly! However, it has been sprinkled with a healthy dose of satire.
NEW YORK — Sergio Furnari is an Italian-born sculptor who describes himself in his own press materials as a “living legend.” Recently, Furnari sold his apartment and spent $100,000 to build a slightly larger-than-life statue of Charlie Kirk. When he tried to sell it, the best offer he got was barely several thousand dollars, along with multiple threats from internet strangers offering to urinate on it.
The statue depicts Kirk clutching a microphone with the word “Freedom” across his shirt, just as he was the moment before someone blew a hole in his neck. Furnari built it from steel and resin over several months, hoping that admirers of a man who spent his career praising free markets would enthusiastically participate in one. Unfortunately, like most of the things Charlie Kirk supporters claim to believe (racism and misogyny notwithstanding), this was not remotely true.
Furnari’s original plan was to display the statue directly in front of the White House, however, these plans fell through when Donald Trump and Turning Point USA failed to provide “crucial support and sponsorship.” It’s unclear whether either even knew about the statue in the first place. Or if they would have cared at all. Furnari’s backup plan was to unveil the statue in Times Square, which somehow would cost only $150,000. To date, he has been able to crowdfund only about 10% of that. Furnari has taken it hard. “People are cheap, man,” he told reporters. “It’s disgusting how cheap they are.” He described his finances as “a total, absolute nightmare,” specifically a nightmare that can happen in real life when you sell your home to build a statue no one asked for in the first place.
Furnari has acknowledged that he wasn’t a fan of Kirk and disagreed with him on Palestine, but built the monument anyway. Which means he has bankrupted himself honoring the memory of a man he disagreed with, on behalf of supporters who won’t pay him, for a cause he only half endorses. The First Amendment protects every bit of whatever this is. It is not required to subsidize it.
Furnari says he will press on regardless. Perhaps he should take a shot at something else.
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