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Sharon Strathman, of O'Fallon, Missouri, grew up making her own birthday cakes. In fact, from the age of 10, she baked cakes for everyone in her family.
Her mom was not a baker, so a neighbor taught her how to perfect a cake after her first one turned out to be a dud. Strathman loved doing it.
Birthdays were a big deal, and she continued the tradition with her own children and grandchildren.
"I like giving attention to others," she explains.
Strathman, now 69, was searching for volunteer opportunities about four years ago after she retired. She learned about a nonprofit that provides birthday cakes to children in foster care.
She had found her cause.
For Goodness Cakes is a national organization with about 30 chapters around the country. Strathman completed the training and began checking the website regularly for cake requests.
Strathman is not a professional baker or decorator, but those decades of making birthday cakes for family members taught her a few tricks.
"I always make sure the child's name is on the cake or cupcakes," she says, "so they know it was made for them."
The agency only provides the first name, age and gender of each child in order to protect their privacy. It includes any special requests from the child, such as flavors or themes. Some children want sprinkles. Others ask for cupcakes or a superhero character.
With that limited information, Strathman thinks about each child while she's baking. Once, she picked up a request for a 3-year-old girl that said "baker's choice."
"You try to imagine, 'What would a 3-year-old like?'" she says. She doesn't make generic birthday cakes. She wants the child to know someone was thinking of them specifically for their birthday.
She's made 48 cakes so far.
In the U.S., approximately 400,000 children are in foster care at any given time, according to the Department of Education. On average, children spend an average of 15 to 20 months in foster care. In the St. Louis metro area, about 43.5% of the children in the system are eventually reunified with their parents. This is slightly lower than the national average of 47%.
"For kids in foster care, birthdays are rough," said Shelley Thomas-Benke, director of family enrichment for the Foster and Adoptive Care Coalition in Creve Coeur, Missouri. On their birthdays, children in foster care often think of their families of origin, from whom they are separated. Some kids don't get much of anything on the day marking their birth.
More than 10,000 For Goodness Cakes volunteers have delivered 45,000 cakes to children in foster care across the country. Diane Cooper, 79, a retired educator in Clayton, Missouri, has made and donated dozens of cakes. She thinks about the children and the reasons they end up in the state's care.
"Every person needs to know that someone notices them," Cooper says. For an adult, it might seem like a small thing, but to a child, it might be really important, she said.
The bakers never get to meet the recipients of their cakes. But that doesn't diminish their enthusiasm for creating special moments.
Thomas-Benke recalls the reaction of one of the cake recipients. He was turning 13. He asked his foster mom for an Oreo cake because he loves the cookies and had never had a cake like that before.
He also wished for a bike.
Thomas-Benke coordinates a birthday buddy program for foster children unlikely to receive anything for their birthdays. The case manager or foster parent fills out an application with a request, and she tries to find a local donor.
The 13-year-old boy's face lit up when he saw his Oreo cake. Then came another surprise: Someone had donated a bike.
"I got exactly what I wanted," he said to his foster mom. "This is a birthday to remember."
(Aisha Sultan is a St. Louis-based journalist who studies parenting in the digital age while trying to keep up with her tech-savvy children. Find her on social media: @AishaS.)
COPYRIGHT 2026, ST. LOUIS POST-DISPATCH
COPYRIGHT 2026, ST. LOUIS POST-DISPATCH
