SerpApi.Org
We recently wrote a post where people called out the norms and expectations in society that are actually toxic. In the comments, readers revealed other "normal" societal standards that are simply messed up, and it's eye-opening. Here's what they had to say:
Note: Some submissions were pulled from this Reddit thread by u/Secret_Ostrich_1307.
1."The fact that you have to work two jobs or put in a lot of overtime just to pay for the basic necessities to live. And, even after all that, you still don't make enough money."
"It's absolutely shameful that people are working multiple jobs and still experiencing homelessness and living in their car or at a shelter."
—Anonymous, 62, USA
2."That our healthcare system is about keeping us sick and unable to access. You can only see a psychiatrist if you will take medication. You don't know if the doctor who sees you at the hospital is in-network or out-of-network. A treatment can be covered today and not covered in three months, or you have to fight to get reimbursed every three months."
"If you want to retire before 65, you don't know how much insurance and medical care will cost. I have seen nearly $2K a month for one person! And then, there are thousands in out-of-pocket costs if something happens."
—Anonymous, 52, Massachusetts
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3."Everything is a competition. I just want to have fun. I don’t want to run a marathon, win a bike race, or be judged for baking cupcakes!"
—Anonymous, 72, Colorado
4."The constant never-ceasing surveillance. I'm having to explain to more and more people that thoughtcrime isn't real and what people do and think in the privacy of their own homes/heads is nobody's business. I had someone honestly ask me, 'Well, what if someone is thinking something BAD in their own home??? We're not supposed to correct them?' If they are THINKING something, you don't know what it is because nobody can read minds!!! And you are not in their home because you don't live there!!!"
"Not to mention, the fact that anybody can film anyone any time and post it means it's not safe to just go about your day if there's anything about you people might ridicule — say, if you're just existing while fat, disabled, or trans, etc. And what if you are on the run from an abusive stalker? Whoops, your cover's blown because someone doesn't care about the privacy of strangers, and now your LIFE is in danger! I'm afraid to go outside without my face completely covered with a veil now, just to preserve what little privacy I have left!"
—Anonymous, 38 USA
5."The fact that everything is a subscription now. Games I used to play for free a couple of years ago all have access to limited items now if you don’t get a subscription."
—Anonymous
6."That people on Social Security or Social Security Disability really can't afford to live healthily! My husband and I have tried so very hard, and it just doesn't work. We worked hard all our lives only to be treated like throwaways! This never happened in our parents' time!"
7."When they used to say, 'if it's not bleeding, it's OK.' Now I realize there is so much danger to that. Internal bleeding and internal injuries can be so much worse, but we were told not to bother our parents if we fell or hurt ourselves, and there wasn't any blood."
—Anonymous, 41, Canadian
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8."Allowing politicians to lie and take unchecked money from lobbies to pass laws in their favor, while normal people just get screwed by everyone."
—Anonymous
9."Raising your children while staring at your phone for actual hours per day — then having the at-risk behavior of driving them around while texting."
—Anonymous, 50, Pennsylvania
10."Influencers getting special perks, first pick, and winning false 'contests' for promotional value, like anyone not famous is worth less. It really expresses and shows in a world where everything is about consumption and money, we are being herded like cattle from product to product, and we are only worth our purchase value."
—Anonymous, 28, Colorado
11."Commending greed — except they don't use the word 'greed' when they commend it. They call it 'drive' or 'ambition,' or some other veiled **. Regardless, the result is the same: slowly, people start to become more selfish and greedy as a whole because it isn't seen as a toxic trait to avoid, but rather a virtue to emulate."
12."I've always thought society as a whole tolerates a lot of ***-based biases and outright discrimination. I'm not saying other categories humans fall into, like this, have been solved, but the ***-based stuff is still ingrained into society out in the open. It's so ingrained that some people will look confused when it's brought up, like you just said something from a fictional reality. Kinda a problem in my book."
—Anonymous
13."That you have to invite parents/in-laws to see you when you're in the hospital. We usually avoid inviting my husband's parents because they are toxic and end up making you feel worse instead of comforted or supported. We just tell them after he is discharged what happened. Not a tear shed — their lives continue to go round themselves."
—Anonymous
14."Big corporations. So many monopolies that people don’t even realize"
15."I hate expectation, it REALLY is the thief of joy. I hate that we are told to expect to reach certain milestones at certain times and what we should be doing at certain ages. You should be young and restless by X, and you should be settled by X. You should be married and have kids at X. You must be happy and content with yourself by X."
"The journey is not linear. It's a spiral, and sometimes it goes downwards. Happens! It's YOUR path, and it may not be carved, sure, but that's because it's yours to make."
16."People treating romance like a necessity and being too dependent on another person to meet their emotional needs. It's weird and harmful."
17."The idea that being successful means making a lot of money. I think this is what most people are chasing. I wish more people were trying to be better people or contribute to humanity before they go, rather than just distilling themselves down to a dollar amount. No wonder so few people are happy. They have made their purpose attaining something that cannot buy love, time, health, or respect, and costs us the one thing everyone wishes they could do less of: work!"
18."The idea that women become 'invisible' in their 40s+ is a really problematic norm. It's like society stops valuing women once they hit a certain age, and it's so unfair. We're still valuable, capable, and full of experiences, no matter our age. It's frustrating how these expectations make us feel like we have to fight for visibility or validation. It can be so harmful and limit our potential."
And finally...
19."Everything being done for the sake of Instagram. Go to a gig or sporting event, and look around; almost everyone is watching it through their phones. If you wanted to watch through a screen, why not stay at home? When people go to a nice restaurant, they have to take a picture of the food, etc. Nothing can just be enjoyed anymore. People don't have spontaneous fun because they've got this need to show the best of their lives to everyone. Just do a thing because you like doing it."
"The worst part is the photos/videos aren't even for you — they're to make other people think your life is better than it is and thus make them feel worse about their own life."
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
What are some other societal standards that are actually "messed up"? Let us know your thoughts in the comments. Or if you prefer to remain anonymous, you can use the form below.
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