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A woman who refuses to be defined by her dwarfism has opened up about the realities of living with the condition, especially when it comes to dating—from the good, the bad to the downright creepy.
Everyone knows that modern dating is challenging, but it certainly comes with extra difficulties for Ivy Angst of Miami, Florida. Angst was born with achondroplasia, the most common form of disproportionate short-limb dwarfism, typically leading to an adult height between 42 and 56 inches.
Angst has never struggled to accept her dwarfism, although she told Newsweek that it can feel like “being a celebrity who is only recognized for their looks.” She gets noticed wherever she goes and has to make a lot of adaptations in daily life.
“While everyday tasks can seem difficult, I’ve simply gotten used to adapting,” Angst said. “A great deal of that acceptance comes down to how my mom parented me; she was always incredibly honest and uplifting.”
Angst enjoys dating and getting to know new people, but she has certainly gone through her share of negative experiences. As she wants to find someone who is attracted to her physically and emotionally, Angst is incredibly open about her dwarfism from the start.
While the men she has dated have never had any issues with her, the same cannot be said about their friends and families.
“It is usually people outside of the relationship who cause issues. Friends, strangers, and sometimes even family members will make ignorant remarks,” Angst said.
“I recently ended a relationship, and the main catalyst was that his family simply could not accept me. They worried that people would look down on him and that I would eventually become a burden. I am a highly independent, successful person, so it was a tough pill to swallow,” she continued.
That was one of the worst experiences Angst has had to go through, as it made her question how the world saw her.
Angst has been able to make some wonderful connections over the years—but they have not always been perfect. Some of the men she met were only seeking physical connection, and she explained that others wanted to treat her “like a bucket-list experience.” She has even been warned against dating, but she refuses to let that dampen her spirit.
Having learned the subtle signs to look out for, Angst has developed certain methods to weed out the men whose interests do not align with hers.
“When I first meet someone, I am naturally skeptical of his intentions,” Angst said. “I have a strict mental checklist. I’m completely open to dating, I just know exactly what I do and don’t want, which is normal for anyone, average height or not.
“My first actual boyfriend was also a little person. It was an incredibly emotional and valuable experience that helped me become even more comfortable with myself. That relationship ended during my freshman year of college, which ultimately prepared me to fully immerse myself in the college dating scene.”
Among the list of her dating dos, Angst tries to be completely honest and vulnerable and reminds herself of the reason why she is dating in the first place. On the flip side, Angst will never rush herself when dating or fall in love with someone’s potential.
Fortunately, the good moments have vastly outweighed the bad ones, as Angst told Newsweek that she is “forever grateful” for everything she has learned along the way. Having suffered in the past, she now refuses to let other people’s insecurities affect her own self-worth.
It was important for Angst to use social media (@ivyangst on TikTok and Instagram) as a platform to document her experiences, connect and educate others. Many of her videos have generated millions of views and she hopes this will encourage people to discuss their differences respectfully, rather than making assumptions.
Angst continued: “Little people are just as sexy, human, and important as anyone else. We deserve to be taken seriously.
“To any parents raising a child with dwarfism, make sure you constantly remind your child that they can achieve anything they set their mind to. Help build the confidence they need to stand up and advocate for themselves.”
Is there a health issue that’s worrying you? Let us know via [email protected]. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.
Contact Newsweek editors on this story: Charlotte Nisbet and James Debens
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