Why doing nothing is so good for you—and how to get better at it

“Leisure guilt” is a real thing.

Woo! A sunny Saturday in July. The perfect time to relax by the pool with a cool beverage. But just as the thought crosses your mind, the self-reproach begins: I can’t waste a day doing nothing! This anxiety is so common there’s an official term that mental health experts use: leisure guilt.

Most of the blame can be put on society’s hustle culture, which makes us think worth is determined by productivity, explains Margaret Sigel, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Santa Monica, California. “It starts in childhood in families where achievement is praised and simply existing is overlooked,” she says. “The adult version is the person who cannot relax without feeling guilty.” Social media also fosters the illusion that everyone else is launching a start-up or training for their next ultramarathon. And many of us humblebrag about how busy we are.

Additionally, unstructured time leaves us alone with our thoughts—and that’s not always comfortable. “When challenging feelings like anxiety arise, people try to make them stop by staying busy,” says Joanna Hardis, an anxiety and OCD therapist and the author of Just Do Nothing. “This works in the short term to reduce discomfort, so the brain keeps going back to this strategy,” she says, noting the cycle.

Our phones don’t help either. “The on-demand availability they bring and the constant pinging notifications contribute to our unease around leisure time,” says Miranda Denison, PhD, a licensed psychologist and founder of Denison Psychological Services in Kansas City, Missouri. We take calls while we drive, text while we stream, hunt for Connections during the briefest elevator ride. All of this bombardment and stimulation is a relatively new development for our ancient human nervous systems that used to spend long afternoons watching the clouds drift by.

Yet true downtime remains an essential recharge for body and mind. “Rest is when the nervous system gets to do its repair work,” Sigel says. “Research suggests creativity is born, not from grinding harder, but from the loose, unfocused state the brain enters when it isn’t being directed.” (That’s why you have your best, most brilliant ideas while zoning out in the shower.) Doing nothing should lightly engage us without demanding our full attention, so our minds are free to wander. It can be anything you want. “I consider doing nothing to be any unstructured time without an agenda or goal, ideally without devices,” Hardis says. “If you want to stare at ants or flip through old photos, have at it.” With that, below are some structured tips to help you shed the guilt and just chill.

Chop It Up

Start with microdoses of nothing time. “Try to just be—without your phone—when you’re in the checkout line,” suggests Hardis. You may feel squirmy at first. As you get more comfortable with it, gradually extend your distraction-free time by a few minutes for each stretch. “Once you build your capacity, most people start to enjoy it,” she adds. It can also be helpful to intentionally schedule doing nothing into our calendars, Denison says. “Setting aside 20 minutes in the evening for something low-key like knitting can help us become more comfortable with the idea that resting is important.”

Power Through

“I encourage clients to notice feelings of leisure guilt when they pop up,” Denison says. Notice it and sit with the discomfort. This helps our brains learn we don’t have to react to leisure guilt or let it control how we operate, she says. This mantra may fortify you: It’s OK for me to take a break right now; I don’t have to earn it.

Rebrand It

Remind yourself that sitting still isn’t sloth—it’s important self-care! “I encourage shifting your perspective from how doing nothing detracts from your day to how it supports what matters to you most,” Denison says. “While taking time to rest might not feel productive in the moment, it recharges us and provides us with the energy we need to pour into the things we truly value, like work, parenting, and our relationships.”

Read the original article on Real Simple