Weakest take on Bengals having no chance at the Super Bowl has arrived

The merciful dawn of training camp is nearly upon us. Not many moons from now, the Cincinnati Bengals will take the field to get the new season underway in earnest and hush up all the haters and doubters who've disrespected them time and again.

Until then, we as a collective Who Dey Nation have a fair bit of nonsensical speculation to endure. Those who don't believe in the Bengals suffer from paralysis by analysis.

...Or in this latest instance, there is no analysis. There's just a simple statement that Cincinnati has zero chance to win the Super Bowl this year.

Try not to fall out of your chair when you read why the Bengals can't 'actually' win Super Bowl LXI

I'm of two minds on this. I will say one mind is dominating the other, however. As a sports media veteran, I get that assessing all 32 teams with equal expertise is borderline impossible. I mean, me personally? I can do it. I'm not sure The MMQB's Conor Orr is up to the task, though.

At least that's how this "analysis" of the Bengals reads. Orr excluded Cincinnati among 14 teams who "can actually win Super Bowl LXI." Wanna know the rationale? Brace yourselves...

"I want to get ahead of this and address the last three teams left off this list: the Bengals, Eagles and Chiefs. Cincinnati’s defense has improved immeasurably this offseason but I fear that, structurally, this offense is far, far too dependent on the health of both Joe Burrow and Ja’Marr Chase to project them in the conference championship round (even though, as I type this, I imagine these words will be clipped and pasted above my head in January)."

WOW! WHAT A REVELATION!

All summarized in one lengthy sentence, too!

Conor, you mean to tell me that if arguably the best quarterback in the NFL, or (inarguably?) the best wide receiver in the NFL, get injured, that the Bengals might not be in great shape!? NO WAY!

And I swear to you, this isn't ripped out of context. That's the extent of Orr's words on the Bengals. Yeah Conor, I too have a feeling these word will be clipped and pasted above whatever matter kicks around in your cranium in January.

Once I got to this bit on the Chiefs, I couldn't stop laughing, never mind carry on reading:

"Again, I want to be as open as possible when it comes to the Chiefs in particular, as it may look like a 'troll' of some kind to leave them off this list."

You want to be "as open as possible" huh? Dawg. What is this? A CENTER FOR ANTS!? Sorry. My inner tangential Derek Zoolander explodes out of me whenever prose like this fries my irises.

Main point here, Mr. Orr: It's a sports take. It's not, like, an austere confession about your personal life. Stand on it. Support it. Own it if you're wrong.

Guess I should get into the "merits" of Orr's contention that is the subject of this article. Yes, the Bengals will be in serious trouble if Burrow gets hurt (again) or if the not-at-all-injury-prone Chase misses extended time.

But like, did Orr exclude the New England Patriots? No. What if Drake Maye and A.J. Brown get injured!? And did Cincinnati have a massive off-field distraction, a la an adulterous scandal involving their head coach this offseason? Hmm...nothing springs to mind!

Orr put the team that beat the Pats in the latest Super Bowl on his list, too. What if the Seattle Seahawks lose Sam Darnold and Jaxon Smith-Njigba for a meaningful period? Will they have any chance at all to repeat? No!

See how quickly Orr's logic falls apart? That's what bothers me above all else. At least try, man, before you go throwing shade at my squad and implying they're, at best, the 15th-best team in the NFL.

Today's best reads

• One quote explains why Joe Burrow will be consensus QB1 by season's end
• One Joe Burrow training camp tweak Bengals can actually afford to make now
• Browns veteran's latest QB take is pure comedy for Bengals fans
• This 'best in the league' Bengals claim will put the NFL on alert
• Breaking down what makes Bengals' Ja'Marr Chase the NFL's best receiver

This article was originally published on stripehype.com as Weakest take on Bengals having no chance at the Super Bowl has arrived.