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Christopher Nolan's The Odyssey is in theaters everywhere, and folks ... it's good. Quite good. Nolan has achieved a rare level of directorial stardom. No filmmaker is an event unto himself like Nolan is. The cast, naturally, is chock full of stars, from Matt Damon as the Homeric hero Odysseus, to Tom Holland as his son Telemachus and Anne Hathaway as his wife Penelope.
This is a film basically tailored to my specific wants and desires, so I'll spare you my in-depth thoughts on the vast wonders and miracles Nolan put on film and instead embark on an odyssey of my own — a journey to determine which NBA players would feel at home in Nolan's adaptation of the ancient Greeks' foundational text.
(There are minor spoilers ahead for the film and the 3,000-year-old text)
The Cyclops: Rudy Gobert
The Cyclops is the first proper set piece in the film and it's hard not to think of Rudy Gobert. The Cyclops has certain strengths. He's massive. Huge wingspan. Definitely a plus defender. It's hard to get past him at the cave's exit, not dissimilar to many players' ill-fated attempts to score around Gobert at the rim.
In the end, however, he gets outfoxed. Blinded by Odysseus and his men. The speed and execution of their final escape is too much for the Cyclops. Given Gobert's spotty track record in the playoffs — his tendency to wilt in the biggest moments — there's a clean parallel here. Like Gobert, the Cyclops can't really play offense either. He's too slow and uncoordinated in transition.
The Laestrygonians: Steven Adams, Zach Edey, Donovan Clingan
When Odysseus and his men arrive on the island of Aeaea, they are greeted by a large, shreeking child — which brings on a storm of armored giants, known as the Laestrygonians, who essentially put belt to you-know-what on the Trojan war vets.
They are a supermassive, unstoppable force. Destruction incarnate, and a helpful metaphorical reckoning for soldiers who have pilaged their way across the land and ruined many a life.
Nolan used forced perspective and creative framing, among other movie magic tricks, to make several men dressed in full armor look twice the size of Odysseus and his soldiers. It's not hard to imagine 7-footers like Zach Edey, Steven Adams and Donovan Clingan in that scene.
They all play a similar style of basketball as the Laestrygonians. Adams (6-foot-11, 265 pounds) might be the strongest man in the NBA. He's an enforcer by nature. Edey (7-foot-3, 305 pounds) and Clingan (7-foot-2, 280 pounds) are on the floor to set monster screens, establish post position and bulldoze through undersized opponents.
Eumaeus: Kyle Lowry
Eumaeus is Odysseus' most faithful servant. He stays home to watch over the family and the castle. He's is old, blind and no longer fit for battle. But he is a former warrior, with full command of his other senses. He's smart and communicative. He's a tremendous leader and mentor. He helps Telemachus, Odysseus' son, learn the art of sword-fighting, able to impart wisdom orally, if not physically.
In many ways, Kyle Lowry's last couple years in Philadelphia are a perfect analog for Eumaeus. While Lowry couldn't do much on the floor last season — "too old, too slow," etc. — his ability to lead from the sidelines, to teach Tyrese Maxey and VJ Edgecombe the finer details of NBA guardom, was of tremendous value to the Sixers.
Agamemnon: Giannis Antetokounmpo
Agamemnon was the king who spearheaded the sack of Troy (with Odysseus as the actual military genius pulling the strings). He ultimately won the Trojan war and returned home to be showered in praise and anointed, only to be betrayed and murdered by his wife, Clytemnestra, for the sacrifice of their child before the war.
It's a sad, dark storyline and not the easiest to find an NBA comp for. But how about Giannis? He brought a championship to Milwaukee and is forever a franchise legend. Things were never quite the same after the title run, however. Giannis' relationship with the organization deteriorated and he was eventually shipped off to Miami as the Bucks seek a new beginning.
From a pure aesthetic standpoint, Agamemnon's towering stature and intimidating gold-lined armor are reminiscent of old Greek statues. Giannis is, almost literally, a Greek statue. We had to put him in here somewhere.
Menelaus: Anthony Edwards
Menelaus, brother to Agamemnon and a warrior in the Trojan war, returns home to with his wife, Helen of Troy, to lead his kingdom in peacetime. But ill omens abound, he is visited by Telemachus, who's in search of information about his father's decades-long absence.
Played in the film by Jon Bernthal, who exudes a very modern bravado, it's hard not to think of Anthony Edwards, who operates with a similar soul-deep confidence in his righteousness, his excellence, in all basketball-related endeavors.
For lack of a better term, Menelaus is cocky. Edwards is, too. It's what makes him so fun to watch, so easy to root for.
Antinous: Tyler Herro
Look, we're all here for a laugh. Please do not read too far into this. Tyler Herro is a very talented basketball player.
That said... Tyler Herro, recently dealt from Miami to Milwaukee in the Giannis trade, was sucker-punched by Bam Adebayo in Las Vegas after messages were revealed online. In them, Herro trash talks Adebayo behind his back and questions his value to the Heat franchise as their chosen superstar.
What does Antinous do in the film? He pines after Penelope like a snake in the weeds. He punks Telemachus at every opportunity and operates with a thinly-veiled disrespect for everything Odysseus did, everything Odysseus represents. As soon as he is confronted by Odysseus in a life-or-death battle, however, Antinous hides. And he gets got.
Again, this is all in good fun. Herro seems like a cool guy and Adebayo should not have punched him, even if those uncovered messages were tone deaf and hilariously detached from reality.
Telemachus: Dylan Harper
Telemachus did not meet his father for many years, but he taught how to fight, how to lead, as the heir to an unclaimed throne. With Odysseus out of the picture, Telemachus spends much of the story relegated to entertaining suitors in his home, with no ability to take command of the situation. He has not come of age — and, beholden to Zeus' law, he is not allowed to remove the suitors and claim dominion over a vacant throne.
Dylan Harper is still coming off the bench in San Antonio, but he's the heir apparent to the mantles of Tony Parker and Manu Ginobili. A super-skilled scoring guard with a chance to lead the Spurs (alongside Victor Wembanyama) into their next golden age. Unfortunately, De'Aaron Fox is signed to a max contract and he's not going anywhere, so Harper must patiently wait his turn.
Odysseus: LeBron James
This is perhaps too thuddingly obvious, but LeBron James is not only physically built in the mold of an action hero. He in many ways holds a mirror up to Odysseus, a grizzled war veteran, hailed for his military strategy and leadership qualities. Odysseus has a high battle IQ. LeBron has a high basketball IQ. Odysseus is the protagonist of The Odyssey, the face of Greek storytelling. LeBron is still the sun around which NBA storytelling orbits.
Odysseus took 20 years to come home. LeBron has already returned to Cleveland once, and this comparison might fall a little flat if he signs with the Sixers instead of the Cavs. But if LeBron does finally return to Cleveland in Year 23, much like Odysseus he will find a vacant throne — a once great kingdom that has struggled to replicate past glories in his absence. Moreover, Odysseus is stuck on Calypso's island for seven years. LeBron was stuck in Los Angeles, drawn to the glitz and glamor of a Hollywood lifestyle, for eight years. But that never felt right. It never felt like home.
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This article was originally published on fansided.com as The 10 NBA players who could have absolutely crushed a battle scene in The Odyssey.
