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If you found out that your sibling excluded you from their wedding party for being too fat, how would you feel? Would you still want to attend the wedding as a guest?
This 26-year-old woman read somewhere that social media has turned weddings into photo opportunities, and she’s afraid that’s what’s now happening in her own family.
Her 23-year-old brother is getting married, and she doesn’t know the girl he’s engaged to all that well, as they have only been together for four months, so talk about a whirlwind romance.
“For context, they are Utah Mormons, so they get ‘sealed’ in the temple with a small group of people and then have a big reception at the end. They treat the reception like a regular wedding with bridesmaids, groomsmen, all of it pretty much,” she explained.
If you’re not Mormon, you are not invited to be inside the temple and cannot watch the ceremony. She and her older sister are ex-Mormons.
Her brother is extremely close to her and their two sisters, and he was thrilled to have them all be bridesmaids. He was going on and on about how happy he was back when they helped him propose.
One month after her brother got engaged, he sent their family a group chat of the wedding colors he wanted everyone to wear. She thought this was for the wedding party, because her brother had already said he wanted her to be a bridesmaid.
She did text her brother, asking who was going to be in the wedding party, as he’s known her husband for over a decade and is friends with him, so she wanted to know if he was going to be a groomsman.
She could see that her brother had opened up her text message, but he failed to respond. She said something about this to her little sister, who revealed the bride had privately texted her to say she was the only one being included as a bridesmaid.
“I was a little hurt, but [I] know that 3 sisters is a lot, plus I know it's the bride and groom’s day, and it shouldn't be centered around my feelings,” she added.
“When my sister showed me the text from the bride, it said that I wasn't apart of the wedding because I am ‘too large’ (I am about 15 lbs overweight due to having my 3rd child 6 months ago) and my other sister couldn't be apart of the wedding because of her piercings (she has 4 piercings on her face, that I believe aren't very noticeable).”
“This clearly hurt my feelings even more; it also hurt that my brother was too cowardly to tell me I wasn't a part of the wedding. [My sister and I] don't ‘look’ good enough for the wedding party.”
She then spoke to her mom, who said that the color palette text was for every single wedding guest, not the wedding party. There is even a part in there about what kids should wear and what color ties they should have on, including the fact that all the boys need to wear suspenders.
She has heard of brides and grooms giving their wedding guests a dress code, but the one her brother is sticking to is insane.
“I'm not a part of the wedding, but am expected to buy new dress clothes that fit into the 3 appropriate colors for me, my husband, and [my] 3 children?? It's all just bugging me, and it blows my mind how weddings have become so superficial,” she continued.
I mean, if any of my siblings treated me like this, I would skip the wedding. Getting excluded from a wedding for being too fat is so crazy.
And her brother didn’t even have the guts to tell her why she was banned from being a bridesmaid, so he’s no better than the bride. Weddings aren’t fashion shows, and your bridesmaids shouldn’t have to look like runway models.
What advice do you have for her?
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