Older childfree women are opening up about what their life is actually like

Earlier this week, TikTok user @seling459 posted a video that asked the question: “Women over 50 who never had children… I need your honesty. I’m scared I might regret staying childfree one day. Please tell me what your life actually looks like.”

She added in the post’s caption: “I’m 36 years old, happily married and content with my decision to be childfree, but I do wonder if in the future if I would feel lonely and isolated. It’s not a good reason to have children, but I’m just worried if I’m making a big decision I might regret in the future! So I really want to hear from older ladies here who chose to be childfree, how did your life turn out 💕🌸✨”

Now, as a woman in her mid-thirties who has also (albeit very confidently) made the decision to remain childfree, I was curious to read the responses. After all, right now, my life is pretty great: all I do is whatever I want whenever I want; I can stay up late, sleep in, and attend pretty much any event I want to without even having to think about it too much. I book spontaneous vacations — with business class flights — and have a level of financial security I definitely wouldn’t have if I had children to think about. I am also lucky enough to have a ton of close friends my age who have also chosen to be childfree, which means that I haven’t suffered the impact of losing a large chunk of my social life to parenthood as others can.

I’m also not the kind of childfree person who hates kids. In fact, I love kids, and I am blessed to have many beautiful children in my life — from teenagers to babies — who I love and cherish. I get to spend a lot of quality time with them, forming relationships that I don’t think would be anywhere near as close or as special if I had children of my own who were taking up my time, energy, and focus. Whenever I see the kids in my life, I get to show up as the best version of myself; well-rested, energized, and with all of the patience and excitement to spend time with them in the world.

And while, as I said, I’m confident in my decision not to have children of my own, it was still great to read the responses from women a few decades ahead of me on this life journey who are actively refuting the narrative that society forces upon us from birth. Here are some of the best comments from the viral TikTok:

1.“61 year old with no responsibilities and all my time and money are mine. My sisters say I was a better aunt because I didn’t have children of my own. I’ve also volunteered in NICU rocking sick babies. Plenty of kids to love in this world without having your own.”

2.“49 no kids, no regrets. Live by the ocean with my husband and two dogs. Thinking about starting a Hermes scarf collection.”

3.“Childfree at 63. Not a single regret! My life now? Retired, waterfront apt in the city, volunteering with local animal shelter, singing with a local acapella group, reading, road trips, good friends & a husband who loves me. Pretty **** great. 😁”

4.“I'm 53. You will NEVER regret staying child-free. I promise you this. People will insist that you'll be lonely, you won't have anyone to care for you in old age, you'll never experience ‘true unconditional love’, blah blah blah. Having children doesn't guarantee any of that. Enjoy your life, your freedom, your money, your peace.”

5.“I had a neighbor who passed in her late 80s, never married no kids. She owned her house, drove a luxury car, collected many things, traveled the world with her girl friends (in the 1960s 70s and 80s) and owned a different Hermes scarf for every day of the week. When I helped sort through her belongings after she passed I learned that she had many boyfriends and very much enjoyed spending time with them on her terms. I had the privilege of caring for her in her final weeks and she never once expressed regrets about not having children.”

6.“Free. Im 72. Self employed. Single. Live alone. I travel whenever, wherever. Im endlessly grateful. No kids. No husband. Don't believe the lonely **. It's a luxury to be so unencumbered.”

7.“I am 55, I live on 80 acres with horses I rescued off the meat truck and a few crazy rescue dogs. Life is sweet. ❤️”

8.“47, no kids, no partner. Only child and parents have passed. It’s just me and the cat. Love my work, have great hobbies and friends, do what I like when I like. Life is peaceful and I am content.”

9.“My aunt Peggy never had kids.. she's never missed a birthday, holiday, or random Sunday dinner we've put together.. family is what you make it ❤️signed another child free women who plans to show up for my nieces and nephews like my aunt Peggy did for me!”

10.“Never met an older childfree by choice woman that has regretted her decision. I have met a lot of parents that regret theirs.”

11.“49, no kids, 21 years with my husband, fantastic relationship with each other as we remain each others priority. I’m fit and healthy as I have time to focus on the things that are important to me. Mortgage is paid off, planning to retire at 55. 2 beautiful dogs who are my babies. Regret has never even crossed my mind.”

12.“Childfree at 63 and after witnessing all my friends and the challenges of having kids I am so happy I never had any. They are now stuck babysitting the grandkids while I travel and spend time with other childfree friends having dinner and going to the movie theater or concerts.”

13.“74 and no kids by choice. No second thoughts, not for a second ever. This was the right choice for me. I loved my career and I could devote as much time as I wanted to it, then I had the weekends and vacation time to do whatever I wanted. I have nephews I've spoiled, but then could always send them home!”

14."Hi! I’m 55 and childfree by choice. Zero regrets here. Although every day might look different, one thing remains the same, my husband and I have lots of free time to do exactly what we want to do without worrying about children. Travel? Yes! Sleep in? Yes! Stay up ridiculously late watching a movie on a work night? Yes! Spontaneously schedule massage appointments? Yes! Move to a different country just because? Yes! We did this last year. Life is good and lacking nothing. 😍"

15."Not 50, but 40. Im super maternal and nurturing and love to take care of people. I think I seem like someone who would want to be a mom, but I don’t. I love seeing my friend’s kids. I do have a cat who is my baby. I have never once left the house of anyone with kids and thought 'wow, I want that.' I do what I want, I see who I want, my life is full of peace and super fulfilled."

16.“54 years old and I have plenty of money to retire. I’m about to go on my second of four vacations for the year. I go to musicals, concerts, and happy hours frequently on short notice. Maybe I don’t know what I’m missing but I really don’t feel like I’m missing anything.”

17.“I'm 60 and never regretted it once. I have slept amazing the last 40 years, I have money. my house is clean and cozy. I have had freedom and still do, to do anything. I have 23 nieces and nephews to enjoy. life is grand 😍”

18."I’m 42. This weekend I went to the beach on a whim. It took me 10 mins to decide and leave the house. My fiance and I wandered the streets of Brighton. We had some wine. We went to the Ivy for lunch. When we got back we decided to cook dinner and open a bottle of wine to watch the World Cup. After all, we can sleep in on Sunday. On Sunday, we had a lazy breakfast. Hit the gym. I went to do some red light therapy and then sat in the garden reading a book with my fiance cleared some brambles from the back corner of the yard while the dogs napped in the sun."

Some happy parents even got involved in the discourse, and what they had to say might surprise you:

19.“im 42 with 2 kids. I adore them. stay child free.”

20.“I have 3 kids. My bestie has zero. And one of us gets to do exactly whatever she wants, everyday. Do with that info what you will.”

21.“39 with 2 teenagers. They are my everything. Don’t have kids.”

22.“I have a big family. I will be advocating for my daughters to stay child free for as long as they can.”

23."I love my 3 children. Don’t do it. If I had my time over I wouldn’t have children. The world is a **** show."

24.And finally: “I adore adore adore my children. We are financially very secure. I have a husband who does more than 50% of the parenting and is obsessed with me. Their hugs and laughs tickle a part of my brain that nothing else does. Don’t do it.”

Can’t really argue with that, hey? As always, let me know your thoughts in the comments below!

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