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When I was 14 years old, growing up in rural Hobe Sound, Florida, I remember my dad asking me, “Hey, Lin, do you want a car when you’re 16?” Of course I responded with an excited “yeah!” I imagined pulling up to school in a bright red Jetta (the “It” car for the cool girls back then, and I was anything but a cool girl), impressing all my classmates as I sped off to Dairy Queen for a Blizzard after the bell rang. But Dad didn’t let me indulge in my fantasy world for long. He looked me dead in the eye and replied, “Okay, great. How are you going to pay for it?” So I went out the next day and got a job as a bagger at our local Winn-Dixie grocery store. I haven’t stopped working since then. Not a day, not a month, not a year have I taken off from work. (Fine, maybe a day here and there. The spa at the Standard Miami is great.)
,One of the biggest, and probably most important, values my dad and stepmom instilled in me was to be a hard worker and earn everything you get. My dad told me, “Nothing will ever be given to you for free, and if it is, you need to question it.” Being ambitious became my entire life’s focus from that moment. I spent my childhood with my head buried in books. In high school, I was a nerd in the International Baccalaureate program and a tomboy on the soccer field. After Winn-Dixie, I started as a hostess and to-go girl at Outback Steakhouse, doing my homework in the back while the guests dug into their Bloomin’ Onions. It paid off with a full ride to the University of Florida (go Gators), but it wasn’t just about the money. What I took from my parents is the ambition and drive to provide for myself and my family, manage a household, and maintain a self-confidence that is difficult for almost anyone to penetrate. The thing about me is that I came out of the womb a Leo and an Alpha. When I do something, I don’t know how to do it at anything less than 150 percent.
,And to be totally honest, it can also be exhausting. Especially since I became a parent. The year I became a mother was my busiest year in my career yet. Some people might think being a reality-TV personality is the easiest gig on earth: A camera just follows you around while you get activated and cry? Well, I’ve had plenty of “normal jobs,” too, from food service and bartending, to folding panties at Victoria’s Secret, to my pre-TV career as a publicist. And I gotta tell you, this is the hardest job I’ve ever had. On TV, I give it my all: sharing my ups and downs, strongest opinions, and deepest vulnerabilities — even if that means not everyone in the world will agree with me, or like me. Offscreen, I’m managing brand deals, commercials, and other opportunities that will help me have career longevity and a safety net in a fickle industry.
,And now, as a mom, giving it anything less than my all is just unacceptable to me. I’m my daughter’s No. 1 cheerleader, top tea-party guest, personal chef, party planner, protector, and provider; my own mother left when I was a toddler, and I feel like giving everything I’ve got to parenting is my way to heal some of those old wounds. In my eyes, there is no choice. You put your head down, you focus, you love unconditionally, and then you develop, and shape, your child into a good person with integrity, resiliency, and character. I really appreciate that my dad and stepmom made me into the independent woman that I am. They instilled those values in me that I will turn around and instill in my daughter. It’s important to show her what a strong female role model looks like.
,… But what does that mean for my personal life?
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I know that the way I am can be intimidating to men. Everyone says they love a “strong woman,” but when it comes down to it, can you handle it? Because what a strong woman comes with is ambition, drive, and alpha energy. I’ve had so many conversations about masculine versus feminine or harder versus softer energy, not just with my ex-fiancé but with multiple men I’ve gone out with afterward.
,My personal life took a back seat for almost all of 2025. It wasn’t a priority because I had way more important things to focus on. And to be honest with you (and myself), I needed that break after my last two relationships. When I say that 2025 was by far the hardest year of my life yet, that is saying a lot considering I’ve seen a lot of trauma and hardship (subjective to me) throughout the entirety of my life. And I just wasn’t ready to focus on love or dating while I was navigating postpartum, learning how to be a mom while mourning the loss of who I once was, transitioning into co-parenting routines, taking on a big move to a new neighborhood and home, and filming two back-to-back TV shows.
,I didn’t feel the need to, or want to, or even have time to prioritize my romantic life. Anyone who’s watched me on TV for the past ten years can see that I’m a very sex-positive person. But I didn’t have sex for an entire year after I had Gemma. It wasn’t entirely intentional. It didn’t even cross my mind. We as women are so hard on ourselves postpartum, which is exactly what I told my fellow new mom Kristen Doute on the phone recently: I was going through a lot of changes, and I didn’t feel like myself. No matter if I’ve gained weight or lost weight, I’ve always felt confident in my body. But having a baby is one of the biggest traumas that the female body can go through, and things have to get back into place physically, mentally, and emotionally. I needed to get my mojo back.
,It was finally in the fall where I was like, I think I’m ready to have some fun! But even then, and as I watch myself back on In the City and know where my heart and mind were (hint: not on falling in love), I still wasn’t ready for anything serious. I truly did not start feeling like myself until March or April of this year. I needed to shake off 2025, shake off that terrible winter we had, and shake off the postpartum of it all. It’s been about four months now of me incorporating dating into my life, and let me tell you, it is wild, yet so much fun, out there. Having Gemma took a lot of the stress out of dating, because my dream of becoming a mother already came true: I no longer feel like I’m racing against my biological clock or settling for the wrong partner as a result. It’s fun to date without pressure for once, but it’s also unknown territory for me.
,Over the past four months of dating more consistently, I’ve gone out with guys with such a variety of personalities, careers, and varying levels of ambition. I’ve tried to figure out: Do I need to date someone who shares my energy level? Do I need to be with someone whose motor matches mine? I went out on a date with someone who told me I’m “too alpha” for him because he’s also an alpha. But then I asked him what he was looking for in a partner, and he described “an independent woman who has her own career and is financially independent.” And I responded with, “Okay, you just described an alpha.”
,I went out on a date with a guy who prioritizes life and adventure, travel and music, but was less ambitious and driven in a career sense. I went out on some dates with people across different public industries, and I like that we can bond and relate on the same playing field while interfacing and supporting one another between different industries. I went out on a date with an executive in the music industry who is a single dad. I’ve been out with a range of men at this point, and I’m still just trying to figure out what turns me on and what I’m looking for in a partner. I’m not looking for a sugar daddy. But I also don’t want to be some guy’s sugar mama. It’s a balance.
,Because I am financially independent and my heart is so full between Gemma, my family, my girlfriends, and my work, I only need a man for seemingly surface-level things: fun, laughs, makeouts, conversations, sex. This means, if I choose you as a man in my life, it’s not because I need you, it’s because I want you there. The hard part now for me is figuring out the balance of public versus private life of it all. Over the last ten years, I’ve tried dating every which way. I’ve dated normies. I’ve gotten engaged to and broken up with by someone on TV. And my last relationship was with a guy who wanted to remain private. But that was a severe conflict with my current lifestyle. I’m basically like Goldilocks. I’ve got to find the perfect fit over here. Hopefully you’re not dating me because you’re a clout-chaser or social climber, but you’re also not so private that you want to be anonymous in my life.
,We also now have fan-driven paparazzi. You walk down the street and everyone is a reporter, sending pictures to all the Bravo blogs, so privacy is out of the window at this point in my life. Gone are the days (at least in NYC) where I get the opportunity to date privately, and honestly, it blows up my spot sometimes. But here’s the thing: I refuse to put myself in a position where I am forced to choose between a man (if he prefers privacy) and my career (public). I am also scarred from the last time I found myself in that position. As they say, “You can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube.” And unfortunately for any guy I might date, I will always choose my career if it comes down to it. Remember when I talked about being a provider for Gemma?
,So, in order to avoid that — getting six months down the road of dating someone and falling in love before having these conversations — I need to broach the topic of being public early on. (a) Are you aware, and okay, with the fact that I am a public person? This is my job … And (b) If we do continue to date, would you be willing to film on my show(s) with me? Time is one of the most valuable assets in life, and I’m not about to waste my or your time if you’re not on board. But do I have these conversations early, even in the “fun” phase? Do I ask someone on a first date if they’re willing to come on my reality show if we get serious? Not me asking, “So what’s your sign? Do you have any siblings? Oh, and by the way, what’s your comfort level doing Instagram ads with me?” Or do I let the chips land where they fall? Either way, because I feel so strongly about giving my all to everything I do, I won’t settle for a man who won’t support my career. Gemma and my career will always come first.
,My life looks different than how I imagined it would be five to ten years ago, but I am good if Gemma is it for me. And our village includes the best girlfriends on the planet, who are some of the most strong, intelligent, ambitious and powerhouse women you could meet. My dating life is the one piece of my personal life I can’t seem to nail down. But if I never do, that’s fine. The value of being independent is the ultimate life lesson my parents instilled in me, and I’m glad I can instill it in my daughter, too. It’s the one thing that no one, not one person, can ever take away from you. It’s the one thing that has sat at the core of my being, that has gotten me through all of life’s ups and downs. It’s the one thing I will never take for granted: being there for myself. If that’s too alpha for you, lose my number. But if that sounds good to you, my DMs are open.
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