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There was already a lot to be annoyed about watching the World Cup Final on Sunday night. The fact the appalling Argentinians conducted themselves as if they were taking part in a kickboxing tournament, and the referee seemingly saw no problem with that, while the Spaniards persisted calmly with this game called football where jabbing an opponent in the throat is generally frowned upon.
Viewers at home may also have experienced a certain bitter wistfulness. Despite deploying the subtle tactics of a drugs cartel, the Argies didn’t manage a single attempt on goal and how much better might our lads have done against Spain had those South American thugs not eliminated England in the semis? Magnificently stoical Elliot Anderson was savagely cut down three times by Argentine players before the ref finally awarded a yellow card – to Elliot Anderson! I know, unbelievable. Travesty. Not that we bear a grudge or anything.
So, I was certainly not in a forgiving mood when, during the half-time interval, the BBC aired a promotional ad for the BBC, giving it a full all-singing, all-dancing Hollywood production. It began with Romesh Ranganathan, in the bar of The Queen Vic, asking: “What has the BBC ever done for me?” In a corner of the fictional pub, Chris Martin tinkled the ivories; outside, the ubiquitous chipmunk grin of Alan Carr was attached to a drum kit beating out the famous opening bars of the EastEnders’ theme tune. Marvel at our star power, ye Plebs!
Ranganathan then took us on a whistle-stop tour of all the marvellous things the BBC licence fee brings us, or at least thinks it does – The Traitors, Casualty (drably predictable compared to a dazzling recent hospital drama like The Pitt on HBO Max), Mary Berry and Glastonbury (aka extortionate freeloading bonanza for BBC execs and an opportunity for fans of the death-cult Hamas to sing out anti-Semitic slogans to their echo chamber).
Enter the Daleks. Now, my kids were devoted to Doctor Who when they were little. That was back in the days of David Tennant, Christopher Eccleston and genuinely scary and ingenious storytelling. Since then, like so much BBC content, the legendary children’s tea-time drama has been so infested with identity politics that it is barely watchable. The casting of black, openly “queer” Ncuti Gatwa as the beloved Time Lord was the cue for a deluge of trans storylines and non-binary queens (in both senses). I turned on one episode and was so appalled by the blatant woke propaganda (always the enemy of art) that I never watched it again. And I wasn’t alone; the future of this classic series is now in doubt. Jon Pertwee must be spinning in his grave.
There is no doubt that the BBC still makes some excellent programmes (at Pearson Towers we are devotees of BBC Two’s Only Connect, a quiz show whose quirky, ineffably-knowledgeable contestants are a weekly source of delight). The question is why the corporation should be funded by a compulsory tax on pain of an extortionate fine? It didn’t seem to occur to anyone that running a hugely expensive advert for itself, paid for by the very licence-fee payers it hopes to retain, might backfire.
That same staggering lack of self-awareness was present in Ranganathan’s hymn to BBC current affairs: “So what if they Verify news thoroughly?” In fact, it’s widely known, thanks to The Telegraph, that BBC News is in huge trouble for its disgraceful “editing” of a Donald Trump speech in which one quote was soldered onto another several minutes later in the speech, to predictably damning effect.
The director general and the head of news (who apparently saw nothing wrong with this blatant falsification and abuse of journalistic ethics) both had to resign. The president is suing the BBC, a fact that oddly didn’t make it into this pageant of praise.
Nor did the politically biased story selection on news broadcasts. Nor the rancid anti-Semitism which infests BBC Arabic and even poisons mainstream Middle East reporting. Nor the confident way in which dear Ann Widdecombe’s horrific murder was uncritically reported as a “burglary gone wrong” (as if) and soon sidelined altogether while an incident at a large Islamic meeting, around the same time, was eagerly reported as “terrorism” (it wasn’t).
Nothing the BBC likes more than an imaginary “far-Right extremist” to froth against; not so keen on far-Left or Islamist hatred, are they?
By the way, the BBC, true to form, pushes the perfectly pleasant Romesh Ranganathan as a national treasure long before its time. Ann Widdecombe, by common consent, had certainly deserved the title national treasure, and her tragic death merited far more extensive coverage than it got. The BBC repeatedly referred to her as “former Conservative MP” when Ann rejoiced in her latest role as Reform UK’s justice and immigration spokesman.
Half a million people cancelled their licence fee within the past year. More than a few of those will have been alienated by atrocious Left-wing bias such as we see on Question Time every week when the studio audience overwhelmingly projects the views of inner-London Stoke Newington and almost never the pro-British, anti-immigration opinions of Stoke on Trent. One episode, beyond parody, featured actual illegal migrants who had received coaching (one apparently via an earpiece) to gang up on Reform UK’s shadow home secretary Zia Yusuf. Shameful stuff.
In this very week, Radio 4’s Today programme reported the death of a former colleague, the presenter Edward Stourton. Touching tributes to that elegant and genial broadcaster did not mention the fact that Ed was unceremoniously dumped by BBC management because he was perceived to be too posh, white, old, male and cursed with impeccable diction, a brilliant mind and a gorgeous, resonant speaking voice. Edward Stourton was much admired by those of us who pay the licence fee for his kind of modest excellence.
Ironically, this new BBC advert was based on a “What has the BBC ever given us” promotion made 40 years ago for the then £58 licence fee and starring John Cleese in the doubting Ranganathan role. The astonishing parade of talent – Michael Hordern behind the bar (drama); David Attenborough (natural history); Barry Norman (film); Dan Maskell, Peter Allis, and Brian Johnston (sport); Sue Lawley and Moira Stuart (news); Patrick Moore (science); the cast of Blue Peter; the legend that was Alan Whicker (documentaries); The Two Ronnies and David Jason (comedy); the glorious and irreplaceable Terry Wogan (chat shows) – is a poignant reminder of an era when 16p a day for a BBC we could all enjoy was terrific value.
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