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Julie Theis believed she truly knew who Taylor Frankie Paul was - until she heard the reality TV star's side of the story.
"What I had heard from them, it was all negative," Theis, 32, exclusively tells Us, noting the claims she heard from her ex Cru Eaton and Dakota Mortensen painted a particular picture of The Secrets Lives of Mormon Wives alum - a picture that she now says wasn't entirely accurate.
"It was very much like, ‘Taylor abuses Dakota,'" she explains. "‘Taylor has been violent towards Dakota.'"
Paul and Mortensen, who began dating in 2022 and share 2-year-old son Ever, have been locked in a contentious legal battle involving mutual domestic abuse allegations, protective orders and an ongoing custody dispute. Most recently, Utah's Division of Child and Family Services petitioned the court to classify Paul's three children as "abused, neglected or dependent," a claim Paul has denied while saying she intends to cooperate with the legal process.
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Theis, a psychology-focused YouTube creator, met Eaton, 33, while filming the reality dating series Secrets & Soulmates in 2025. After the two began dating, Theis moved to Utah to give their relationship a chance, spending the next two months with Eaton and his roommate, Mortensen, 33. During that time, she became part of the same MomTok social circle while Paul was away filming The Bachelorette.
"I definitely felt empathy towards Dakota," she says. "I was like, ‘Oh, this is a man who wants his family together and is maybe struggling with some of his demons, but overall wants to be with her.'"
At the time, Theis had never met Paul herself. Instead, she says she only knew Eaton and Mortensen's version of events. Theis says she repeatedly questioned Mortensen about what she was hearing.
"I would ask questions like, ‘Were you ever abusive towards her?'" she claims to Us. "And I was told, ‘No.'"
She says she was repeatedly told Paul was "the problem" and that if she had simply changed, the relationship between her and Mortensen could have worked.
"They'd just be like, ‘You know she's crazy. She just gets that way. That's just how she is.'"
That perception remained until Theis and Eaton's relationship ended. Following their breakup, Paul unexpectedly contacted Theis after learning she had previously dated Eaton and wanted to better understand a person who was spending time around her son.
Theis, who has a masters degree in psychology, said she spoke with Paul about her own toxic relationship with Eaton, who was living with Mortensen and Ever.
During the conversation, she could hear Paul checking on her children in the background, a stark contrast to the picture she says had been painted of the reality star.
Theis tells Us it wasn't one, major revelatory or shocking statement that changed her perspective of Paul. Instead, it was hearing the reality star's own account alongside her own, personal experiences with Eaton that caused her to reconsider everything she previously believed.
"I apologized to her right away," Theis says. "Obviously, all I had heard about [her] was negative things. I believe her. I saw myself in her. I saw every woman who's been through a toxic, abusive relationship in her."
Theis says another reason she now believes Paul's version of events is the fact that the former Bachelorette lead never tried to persuade her.
"I was listening for signs of, ‘Am I being manipulated the other way?'" she says. "But she didn't do that."
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Instead, Theis says Paul openly acknowledged her own shortcomings.
"She wasn't trying to be like, ‘Let me tell you what a monster he was.' I still heard her take accountability," she adds. "She was like, ‘I'm not perfect. There's things I wish I would've done.'"
View this post on InstagramThe conversation didn't just change Theis' perception of Paul, it also caused her to reconsider everything she had previously been told about Mortensen and Paul as a couple. While Theis says she won't speak to specific details of their previous relationship, she believes Paul should share herself, she says her own observations led her to conclude the relationship was "a toxic trauma bond."
"They are both coming from their own wounds, and they came together unhealed," she claims. "But I think Taylor has reacted, and she knows that. She hasn't always made the right choices. But I think her breaking point has come from coercive control and being beat down."
She adds, "I think what people need to understand about abusive relationships is you come out of that and you're like, ‘I don't even recognize who I am.'"
As Eaton has become a central figure in the ongoing drama between the former couple - publishing private videos, text messages and other material involving Mortensen and Paul on social media, prompting Paul to seek a restraining order against him - Theis says her own experiences with Eaton have caused her to view his alleged so-called public campaign against Paul through a different lens.
"I posted a video [on my Instagram] after Cru started going after Taylor because I feel like what I experienced with Cru is the same pattern that I'm seeing in what he's doing with Taylor," she says. "It's this obsession with her."
Theis also says she wasn't surprised by Paul's decision to seek a legal remedy to Cru's public actions.
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"I am so glad Taylor got the restraining order against Cru," she says. "I think it shows because he's harassing her. This is so far beyond, ‘I have an opinion on Taylor Frankie Paul.' His bio was Taylor. Videos on videos on Taylor. He has zero personality on social media besides Taylor."
She also questions the steady stream of private information that has surfaced throughout the former couple's legal battle, including videos, text messages and more recently, court-and child-welfare-related records.
"I don't know who released it," she says. "But it's like she can't catch a break."
The recent disclosures also renewed questions for Theis about how private material from Paul and Mortensen's relationship became public. She claims she asked Mortensen whether he ever intended to release the video from 2023 of Paul throwing a chair that led to her arrest, as well as the private text messages and other videos now being shared by Eaton viaTikTok.
"I flat out asked [Dakota], ‘Do you plan on releasing these because you're keeping them?' And he said, ‘No, I would never do that because I'm protecting Taylor. I love her. I still want to be with her,'" she claims, adding that she "knew the videos existed" but had "never watched them."
While she says she doesn't know exactly how Eaton obtained the videos and text messages, Theis says the situation raised questions because the recordings - according to her - originally existed on Mortensen's phone.
"I know Cru never had the videos at that time," she claims. "I don't know who did that. It's hard for me to say, but I think there's a possibility that there is a bigger plan."
In one TikTok video shared on the Fourth of July, Eaton addressed his decision to release the footage and responded to Paul's legal filing.
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"This video was 2 weeks before she was arrested. Every video that I have was sent to me within days after it happened, because Dakota was worried she would get into his phone and delete all the videos," he wrote at the time. "I've been sitting on these for years and not doing anything with them because Dakota has begged me not. But if Taylor wants to sue me as the cease and desist letter claims pending I delete my comment, I'm gonna defend myself and Dakota 1000%. I'm gonna let the truth speak for itself in the videos, photos, and texts. There's plenty more where this came from. Up to you Taylor Felon Paul."
While speaking with Us, Theis also questions how Eaton and Mortensen have remained close despite Eaton releasing private footage and texts on his social media.
"They talk every day," she claims. "They live together."
Ultimately, Theis says she hopes the public stops viewing the couple's relationship fallout as just internet drama and, instead, as a serious situation.
"There was a part of me where I thought, ‘How can I stay silent? How can I not protect this woman who I do believe is a victim in this?'" she says. "I think we need to switch this from being messy internet tea and gossip and really look at this like, ‘This is a really dark situation.'"
Theis, who has a master's degree in psychology and hosts a psychology-focused YouTube channel, says she hopes the conversation leads to a broader understanding of coercive control, trauma bonds and abusive relationship dynamics.
"Toxic people rely on your silence," she says. "I felt responsible. I couldn't stay silent anymore."
Us has reached out to Paul for comment. When reached by Us, Mortensen declined to comment. Eaton denied Theis' claims exclusively to Us.
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for confidential support.
If you or someone you know is experiencing child abuse, call or text Child Help Hotline at 1-800-422-4453.
