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A question on Reddit has prompted some interesting and thought-provoking answers.
Posting on the AskGayBros subreddit, someone asked, “What’s something gay men will absolutely not admit about themselves but is painfully obvious to everyone else?”
Given where the question was posted, we presume almost all those who gave replies are gay.
Notably, many of the most liked responses concerned how much trauma gay men have to deal with while growing up. This takes its toll in a variety of ways.
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“A lot of guys need to nurture that child inside of them that didn’t get the nurturing when they were younger. Get hobbies and do things they love that aren’t related to their sexuality so they can complete themselves,” was the most-liked reply, prompting over 600 upvotes.
It prompted others to share their thoughts on nurturing hobbies, either with other gay people or with other similarly impassioned individuals, regardless of their orientation.
Therapy and sass
In a similar vein, the second most-liked response was, “Lots of us need therapy. In our case, not to try to cure homosexuality, but to learn to accept it and overcome the trauma of growing up gay, being not accepted, etc.”
Someone else agreed. They said, “A lot of gay men need to admit that they have shame about who they are, what they want, and where they want to be and acknowledge that they can unlearn that shame.”
Another well-liked response stated, “I’ve known a couple of people who refused to accept that their cattiness/sasstalk was disrespectful, yet [they] preach about being respected.”
Another person put it another way, saying some people need to realize that “being mean isn’t a personality.”
Loneliness
Something else that many gay men struggle to admit, according to another commentator, is “Strong feelings of isolation and loneliness. So much love to give and nobody to give it to.”
Likewise, someone offered, “We are deeply lonely and feel unloved, so we seek solace in hedonism and validation in social cred.”
One thing many replies had in common was the underlying suggestion that gay men need to give themselves a break. Many of us have survived growing up in what is often still a very homophobic world. It’s understandable if we’re struggling with issues. Sometimes we need to pat ourselves on the back for making it this far.
“We don’t need to be perfect to deserve love,” said another man, also earning plenty of likes.
Comments about the need for validation, social media likes, and approval in the workplace (and subsequent burnout) abounded. However, a handful of the replies were more humorous.
One thing gay men won’t admit? “That we’ll do anything and everything in a jockstrap except play sports,” joked one.
What do you think gay men struggle to admit about themselves? Let us know below.
Related
This guy’s laundry list of complaints about the gay community on Hinge proves that internalized homophobia is alive and real. :-/
I’m constantly trying to butch it up on dates so I don’t come across as “too gay.” Is that bad?
“On multiple occasions, I’ve noticed myself kind of butching it up, and trying not to seem too gay. It happens especially if the guy I’m meeting presents more masc.”
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