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Take it From Me is a TODAY series where experts use their wisdom to explain trends or make recommendations within their fields. In this latest installment, psychologists and family therapists share the relationship gems from “Love Island USA” that viewers can implement in their own lives.
Reality dating shows may not be the first place that come to mind when looking for role models, but experts say that the latest winners of “Love Island USA” are conducting their relationship in ways from which we can all learn.
Season 8 stars Trinity Tatum and Bryce Alakai were crowned the winners of the dating competition show during its July 12 finale. TODAY.com hit up some psychologists to hear about what the professionals think about the pair’s romance that all started in their six-week drama-filled summer in Fiji. And it turns out, we can take a page from the couple’s book on communication, patience and tackling hard conversations, the professionals say.
“For a young couple in this context, I feel like they bring forth a lot of wisdom,” Joanne Broder, media psychologist and fellow at the American Psychological Association, tells TODAY.com. “They’re really honest and just very transparent.”
Since the show wrapped, the couple, who left the villa $100,000 richer in prize money, has been spending time together in Los Angeles. They joined TODAY on July 15 to spill some details about their entry into the real world. So far, they told TODAY’s Craig Melvin, they’re dealing with a touch of separation anxiety.
“Something we weren’t anticipating was just how much our connection has affected us outside of here, too,” Bryce said. “Anytime she’s like, ‘I’m gonna go run this errand,’ I’m like, ‘Where’s she going?’ Like, my heart rate starts. I’m like, ‘What’s going on right now?’”
Trinity also shared that she wants “to be wherever Bryce is.”
“I don’t like being away from him,” she said.
While Trinity, 22, and Bryce, 30, have developed an inseparable bond, their connection didn’t necessarily start out hot and heavy. The two coupled up on their first night on the island, however they both expressed some concerns over their 8-year age gap. And when it came time to decide between locking in with one another or continuing to explore other options, they both chose to take the leap and see if they had chemistry with other incoming contestants.
However, sparks failed to fly with the other bombshells and the pair quickly found themselves back together. At one point, Bryce wanted to see if he felt any potential connection with fellow cast member Kayda, telling Trinity that he hoped to test the waters. But when Kayda didn’t return the sentiment, Bryce and Trinity continued to move forward, gradually getting to know one another and strengthening their physical and emotional bond.
By the end of the season, the two not only cemented their titles as boyfriend and girlfriend, they were also the only couple to say the magic three words “I love you” to each other.
As the winners of “Love Island USA” Season 8 begin to navigate the real world, here’s what people can learn from their journey inside the villa, according to psychologists.
Building a Friendship
One of the most compelling aspects of the pair’s relationship on the island was their pace, psychologists say.
Tracy Meyer, a psychology professor at Collin College in Texas, tells TODAY.com that the couple proves “slow and steady wins the race.”
“While it wasn’t sunshine and rainbows for them at first sight, they were willing to see where the relationship would take them,” Meyer said. “Their relationship mirrors real life more than the others on the show, as they were around temptation regularly, but chose not to let it affect them.”
Meyer adds that as the days went by, the couple continued to choose each other, making a conscious effort to understand the other.
“In the end, even the other contestants on the island recognized that what Bryce and Trinity had was a deeper level of connection that went beyond physical attraction and initial lust,” Meyer says.
Apryl Alexander, a professor at UNC Charlotte’s department of health management and policy, tells TODAY.com that the “slow burn” of the couple’s bond proved to viewers that friendship should remain central to peoples’ romantic relationships.
“When you’re developing a friendship, you are taking the time to get to know one another, be curious, build that connection,” Alexander, who has a background in forensic psychology and child and family therapy. “And for them, their connection expanded to where we got in the finale — where they’re expressing love for each other.”
Tackling the Tough Stuff
The experts also underscored how the healthy communication between Trinity and Bryce stood out, particularly as the pair tackled some difficult conversations. The couple’s age gap was among the stickier topics that they openly discussed on the show. In some of the earlier episodes, Bryce expressed concerns over the age differential, mulling over the issue, even seeking advice from friends.
“There is this weird thing with Trinity and the age gap,” Bryce said, while confiding in fellow islander and bestie Zach Georgiou. “I’m the oldest one here, she’s the youngest. You really fill into who you are from 22 to 26 when you get those experiences. I don’t want to steal her youth.”
The pair also opened up about their concerns to their families during the July 9 episode of the show, with Trinity admitting that the age gap was initially “scary.” But as the couple’s relationship evolved, her fears subsided. And in the recent interview with TODAY, Bryce told Craig that the issue ended up “completely disappearing in my mind.”
Alexander said that the couple’s consciousness and open dialogue around the issue was key to overcoming their concerns.
“Bryce kept bringing up the age gap conversation — that he had some concerns around that, particularly whether or not Trinity, as the person who he perceived as significantly younger, wanted to take the time to explore and date more,” Alexander said. “I love the transparency in that — making sure that he wasn’t being manipulative or exuding any kind of power dynamics because of his age and status.”
There was also the issue of the struggles around interracial dating. During the franchise’s infamous Casa Amor episodes — in which the guys and girls are split up and tested with a slew of new bombshells — Trinity got vulnerable about her insecurity that Bryce could choose to couple up with another woman. It’s a fear, she said, that’s particularly daunting as a woman of color and one that she had previously surfaced to Bryce.
“It’s still really f------ scary, a woman of color talking to someone outside of their race and to see them go back to something that they’re comfortable with,” she told fellow castmate Aniya Harvey through tears. “It’s just one of my biggest fears, which he knows.”
Alexander explained that it’s important for interracial couples to be open about their experience with race and remain upfront with any concerns they may have — especially because ignoring the topic can only have negative effects down the line.
“In other reality shows, when interracial relationships are being introduced or tested, people try to take it with a colorblind approach. That can only last for so long,” Alexander said. “You have to have these tough conversations on what does it mean to be able to navigate an interracial or intercultural relationship? It was a great start for them to be able to start this conversation and model it for viewers.”
Broder added that having difficult conversations can only bring couples closer.
“It’s when you avoid those conversations… that’s when you start experiencing cracks,” she said.
Advice for Their Relationship Outside the Villa
Now that the two are out of the villa, the experts said that they hope the pair can continue to be transparent and avoid allowing their frequent communication from going by the wayside.
“Life is full of challenging moments. They made it off the island and they’re in a good place,” Broder said. “I’m rooting for them. I would tell them to keep doing what they’re doing, and I wish them all the best, and keep having those hard, vulnerable conversations.”
This article was originally published on TODAY.com
