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Bachelorette parties are typically reserved for the bride’s friends.
But for her own pre-wedding celebrations in New York earlier this year, Alexandra Bushman broke with tradition and asked her mom and aunt to come along.
For Alex’s mom, Mariam Brillantes, and her aunt, Marisu Brillantes, whom she calls Tita Marisu, this invitation marked a first. The sisters had never attended the American-style celebration, as they were born and raised in the Philippines.
The bride-to-be had two bachelorette events: a trip to Cabo, and a “Bachelorette Night Out” in New York City for her friends who couldn’t travel far. Her mom and aunt came to both.
After being invited, Mariam was at first hesitant to join her daughter.
“I was so surprised because I thought this was just something you do with your friends, with your generation,” Mariam tells TODAY.com. “I felt honored, but also I was worried, because I didn’t want to do anything that would make Alex uncomfortable, or embarrass her, or make her regret that she invited her mother.”
Marisu was far less shy.
“When Mariam said, ‘You’re invited, can you come with me?’ I said, ‘Of course, I don’t care, as long as there’s drinks and dancing, that was the key,’” Marisu says.
Marisu adds that it was a “blessing” to be included in the celebration, and that it even brought out a younger side of herself.
“I was just blown away, like, oh my goodness, we’re actually thinking we’re single, and we can do all the flirting?” Marisu says before self-identifying as “a big flirt.”
Alex, the founder of the social media agency Influencer Social Responsibility, says she was nervous about bringing different groups from her life together.
What ended up happening was “way beyond expectations,” Alex says.
“Not only (how much) my mom and Tita Marisu embraced my friends, but my friends were also calling her Tita Marisu. I think that everyone kind of became family,” Alex tells TODAY.com
“It was never, ‘Oh my God, you brought your mother?” Mariam chimes in.
At first, Alex thought parts of the bachelorette weekend in Cabo would be “too raunchy” for them. She describes a moment where they proved her wrong.
“The theme was party animals, so we all were dressed in different animal prints, and then I see out of the corner of my eye at one point, Tita Marisu in her full leopard print outfit, I’m like, ‘OK, they’re dressed for it,’” she recalls.
Alex says the hotel staff even embraced everyone, and Marisu explains how she embraced them right back.
“I gave them a hug right there out in the street!” Marisu says. “People were looking, but hey, I don’t care, I was so grateful to them.”
Alex connects this gratitude to her feelings about Filipino culture.
“Something that I’ve seen on TikTok now is Filipino Tok, and I’ve always experienced this firsthand with my family, that it’s some of the most welcoming people in the world,” Alex says. “I feel like that really comes through with my mom and Tita Marisu.”
For Mariam, this unconventional way of connecting with her daughter has taught her not to hold in the joy.
“Joy is contagious, why hold it in?” Mariam says. “I just feel so blessed having my wild, exuberant, wonderful family, and all of Alex’s friends. So, if we’re out there and we’re like flaunting it, it’s like, ‘I’m so sorry, but we’re just so happy.’”
Mariam also applauded Alex’s friends, whom she has known since they were little, for not losing their “zest for life” and still celebrating the importance of togetherness.
For Alex, the decision to include her family turned into an emotional lesson about girlhood.
“When I look at Tita Marisu and my mom and their sisters, and then me and my friends, my sister and her best friend ... girlhood looks different at different stages of life, but also looks very much the same,” she says.
Marisu adds that she also sees this togetherness as a tribute to her and Mariam’s mother, who passed away in 2013.
“This is her spirit living on from each one of us to the next generation,” Marisu says. “So she stays alive.”
This article was originally published on TODAY.com
