Voices: At last, a disability benefit… the hosepipe ban doesn’t apply to me!

Wait… there are benefits to being a Blue Badge holder, other than the parking privileges, a 100 per cent discount on London’s congestion charge, and various exemptions or discounts at major toll bridges and tunnels? Why didn’t you tell me!

After all these years as a driver who uses a wheelchair, only now, after Thames Water, Britain’s biggest, announced its near-annual hosepipe ban – which comes into effect on Thursday, and will prevent more than 10 million people from watering their garden direct from the tap, filling the paddling pool or sluicing the suds off their car on a Sunday morning – have I realised that its strictures won’t apply to people like me.

Now that’s what I call a disability benefit!

Many Blue Badge-holders face mobility challenges that make manual watering or car washing with a watering can physically impossible or extremely difficult. So all I need to do now is roll down to B&Q, grab the kit, and – voilà – my lawn can remain as luscious as a village green cricket, while my neighbours’ grass looks as scorched as the Sahara. Unless they own a decent watering can, of course.

You learn something new every day. Mostly, I’ve learned what a privileged class I apparently belong to. I can’t go out for exercise without slurs being hurled at me in the street, but at least the lawn looks peachy.

Lucky me. Anyone want to swap places?

A couple of practical points, though. First, while using a hosepipe in a time of drought sounds like a lovely perk to having a disability, I doubt I’ll actually use it. My wife could easily water the garden on her own – or the kids could, provided I give them sufficient financial incentive.

Second, have you seen water bills lately? We’re heavy users through no fault of our own: two teenagers and space for only a tiny, inefficient washing machine. When Thames Water sent a representative around to help us "save water", their grand solution was a special shower head. Our bills are already astronomical; I’m certainly not spending another penny of my hard-earned money helping Thames dig itself out of its financial crater. The lawn can wait for rain.

The real villains here – for Blue Badge-holders and non-holders alike – are the water monopolies, their overpaid bosses, Ofwat (a regulator in name only), and successive governments that have been asleep at the wheel while the system collapsed.

Walk around London today and you’ll inevitably see thousands of gallons of precious water gushing down the pavement from unfixed bursts. I recall one near us that created a temporary lake in our neighbourhood.

Whenever I’ve challenged Ofwat in the past, I’ve been treated to pious press officers droning on about the "unprecedented investment" that privatised water has delivered.

My question to Ofwat is simple: Where are the results? Show us.

Instead of building reservoirs – not a single new one since the utility was privatised in 1992 – and fixing crumbling pipes, these companies borrowed money like desperate gamblers chasing losses at the pawnshop. They paid out billions to shareholders in dividends while our streets flooded with clean water and our rivers flooded with raw sewage.

I’m not against profit or dividends – I hold shares myself. When well-run companies like Tesco, AstraZeneca, or Rolls-Royce pay dividends, it’s earned. Water utilities are a completely different story.

We are only getting new reservoirs because former environment secretary Steve Reed finally forced the issue – and was seemingly sacked by Andy Burnham for his efforts. Meanwhile, sewage keeps flowing, bills keep rising, and Ofwat keeps approving the price hikes. We are getting soaked while the regulator sunbathes.

Heads should roll at the top, but they never do.

I fear that ‘surfacing’ in the national media the long-standing arrangement for Blue Badge-holders to have a hosepipe exemption is designed to turn disabled people into a useful scapegoat for a crisis we didn't create.

Don't fall for it. Get angry at the people who actually caused this. I know I am – and I’ll happily wheel down to Thames HQ to protest alongside you.

The Independent is the world’s most free-thinking news brand, providing global news, commentary and analysis for the independently-minded. We have grown a huge, global readership of independently minded individuals, who value our trusted voice and commitment to positive change. Our mission, making change happen, has never been as important as it is today.