New psychology research reveals the "Goldilocks rule" of online dating profiles

A few lines in a dating profile may reveal more than their author intended. New research shows when and why sharing too much—or too little—about yourself can backfire.

“Cute overall.”

That was the entire “About Me” section of one dating profile.

As you scroll through dating profiles, you may wonder: What does that mean? Is this person mysterious—or simply unwilling to make an effort? Are they looking for a serious relationship, something casual, or merely filling in the box because the app requires it?

Dating profiles do more than reveal whether someone is a party animal or happiest spending time alone. They also shape the kind of relationship potential partners may want with that person. A sparse profile can suggest low effort, guardedness, or little interest in commitment. A detailed profile can convey openness and investment—but it can also reveal incompatibilities, feel like oversharing, or leave little room for curiosity.

Self-disclosure—the act of revealing personal information, thoughts, and feelings—is fundamental to building intimacy. Yet what works in an unfolding conversation may not work in a dating profile.

In person, impressions develop through conversation, tone, body language, and reciprocal sharing. Online, a profile is one-sided and static—and may be almost all a viewer has to go on. As a result, every sentence can carry unusual weight, shaping not only whether the person seems attractive but also whether they appear to want casual sex or commitment.

That might suggest that the more information a profile contains, the better. But more is not always better. Additional information may expose differences in values or personality. Imagine discovering that your potential match thinks a six-hour hike, with no toilets in sight, is the perfect way to spend a Sunday, while you are a spoiled city mouse. Other disclosures may feel too intimate for such an early stage—or simply leave less room for viewers to imagine an ideal match.

In our recent research, we examined how the amount of information people disclose in dating profiles shapes a crucial judgment: Does this person seem to want casual sex or a committed relationship? We also asked whether that impression changes what viewers themselves want from the profile owner.

What We Did

We conducted three studies. In each study, unpartnered participants first created their own dating profiles to make the task more realistic and establish a shared context for evaluating how much information others disclosed. They then evaluated profiles containing different amounts of self-disclosure. For example, in Study 2, a low-disclosure profile read, “I’m totally worth a chat!” By contrast, a moderately self-disclosing profile read, “Hey there! Cool to get a chance to connect. I’m creative and optimistic. Love working out, coffee addict, and a total sucker for beach sunsets.”

Participants rated the profile owners’ attractiveness and perceived relationship intentions, as well as their own interest in pursuing casual or long-term relationships with them.

In Study 1, participants evaluated three profiles that contained low, moderate, or high levels of self-disclosure, composed messages to the profile owners, and indicated their dating preferences. Independent judges coded their messages for expressions of romantic interest and a desire for future interaction.

Study 2 investigated why profiles with moderate self-disclosure might be more appealing than those with low self-disclosure. Specifically, we tested whether moderate disclosure made profile owners seem more interested in long-term relationships, which could, in turn, encourage viewers to seek a long-term relationship with them.

Study 3 explored when self-disclosure matters most in dating decisions. This time, the profiles also explicitly stated whether the person was seeking a casual or long-term relationship, as many real-life dating profiles do. We reasoned that stated casual versus long-term goals may shape how self-disclosure is interpreted, particularly when these cues create conflicting impressions, such as when a highly self-disclosing profile also states that the person is seeking something casual.

What We FoundGreater self-disclosure generally improved how profile owners were perceived and signaled greater interest in a serious relationship. And yet, when self-disclosure was the main cue available, a moderate level proved most effective in attracting potential partners. This finding aligns with the “Goldilocks principle”: revealing neither too little nor too much appeared optimal.

Our findings also suggest one reason for this preference. Moderately self-disclosing profiles led participants to perceive profile owners as more oriented toward long-term relationships than profiles that revealed very little. This perception, in turn, was associated with participants’ own willingness to pursue a long-term relationship with them.

But the meaning of self-disclosure depended on what else appeared in the profile. When profile owners explicitly stated that they were seeking something casual, revealing more about themselves had an especially strong effect. It made them seem more open to a serious relationship and increased viewers’ own interest in pursuing one with them. In other words, detailed self-disclosure could soften the signal sent by stated casual intentions.

The Takeaway

When self-disclosure is the primary source of information, a moderate amount may strike the best balance: enough to convey openness and investment, but not so much that the profile feels overwhelming or leaves no room for curiosity.

Nevertheless, disclosure does not operate in a vacuum. Detailed self-disclosure can soften the signal sent by stated casual intentions, making someone appear more open to commitment than their stated preference alone would suggest.

Overall, when curating your dating profile, be mindful of your own relationship intentions, because what you reveal about yourself may shape not only how potential partners see you, but also whether they regard you as someone to hook up with or as someone they might take home to meet their mother.

References:

・Birnbaum, G. E., Refaeli, Y., Zholtack, K., & Reis, H. T. (2026). Too much information or not enough? How self-disclosure in online dating profiles influences attraction and relationship intentions. Current Psychology. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12144-026-09787-y