My parents live in a rich, comfortable bubble but refuse to help me buy a house

The gap between the generations has never felt wider.

On one side, a cohort of Baby Boomers sitting on unprecedented levels of property and pension wealth.

On the other, Millennials and Generation Z face stagnant wages, soaring rents and house prices that make even the most determined savers want to weep.

This week’s Money Problem comes from 38-year-old Kitty in Putney, London. She grew up in a big house, went to a posh boarding school and had her parents pay for university.

Now, she’s struggling to save for a deposit. Her parents won’t hand over cash and Kitty’s pretty annoyed with them.

She asked Metro consumer champion, Sarah Davidson, is it her being unreasonable or her parents?

The problem…

I’m lucky – growing up both my parents had big salaries and we lived in a big detached house in Surrey. I had the best education money can buy and at least three holidays abroad each year.

But now I’m 38 and even though I’ve got a good job with a decent salary, I’m still renting with housemates in Putney.

I can’t afford to save anything so I can’t go on nice holidays and the idea of being able to buy even a small house on my own is so unrealistic it’s almost laughable.

When I say this to my parents, who are still wealthy and living that life, they say I should stand on my own two feet.

I don’t think they realise how hard life is these days and I don’t think it’s fair they’re living in their rich, comfy bubble.

I think they should be gifting me a deposit if they want me to have any chance of stability.

The answer…

Okay, I get this feels frustrating Kitty, but you’re not the only one in this position.

In fact, I’d say your position sounds considerably richer and comfier than for most people your age. That said, I’ll concede that you are indeed caught in a generational wealth trap that is affecting millions of young adults across the UK.

The Resolution Foundation’s latest Intergenerational Audit concludes your generation is the first in modern history to have average incomes no higher than those enjoyed by the generation before you at the same age.

Since the 2008 financial crisis, real wage growth in the UK has been exceptionally weak.

When your parents bought their sprawling detached house, it would probably have cost three to four times their average earnings. You’re facing property prices that average almost eight times the average salary in England, based on Office for National Statistics data for 2025.

The maths doesn’t lie.

However, before you cast your parents as the villains of this economic story, it is worth remembering their generation did not have it entirely easy either.

It’s undeniable they benefited from a massive property boom but they also had to survive the economic turbulence of the 1970s and 1980s. Inflation hitting 24%, interest rates just shy of 15% and mass redundancies that left millions out of work.

Yes, your mum and dad’s wealth is partly a product of timing but it was also forged through periods of intense economic hardship.

Does that mean your parents “should” help you out? Sorry kiddo, it’s a no.

They raised you, educated you and, as you say, provided a very comfortable childhood. They may feel that having funded your private education, they’ve already given you the best possible start in life and now it’s over to you. That’s entirely fair in my book.

However, it doesn’t take away the reality that the Bank of Mum and Dad has become a structural pillar of the economy. According to property firm Savills, parental gifts and loans totalled £9.6billion in 2024.

Around half of all first-time buyers now receive financial help from their families, with the average contribution sitting at over £50,000.

Rather than complaining to your parents, maybe help them understand the facts you’re facing. Sometimes, where wealth exists, older generations genuinely do not grasp the scale of the affordability crisis.

Show them the ONS data on house price-to-earnings ratios. Show them what you could buy on your salary. Show them there are tax-efficient ways that help you and, if they’re planning to leave you an inheritance, help them as well.

Under HM Revenue & Customs (HMRC) rules, every individual is allowed to gift up to £3,000 a year completely tax-free. Together, they could provide you up to £6,000 a year.

Giving larger lump sums, known as potentially exempt transfers, becomes entirely free from inheritance tax provided your parents live for seven years after making the gift.

If they stick to their guns and insist you solve this problem on your own, you’re going to have to get real about what you can achieve today.

One last thing, which might offer some consolation.

Your generation is set to benefit from the largest ‘inheritance boom’ of any post-war generation, according to the Resolution Foundation.

Lots of things in life aren’t fair. But remember, life isn’t one moment in time.

Things change – and they will for you too.

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