SerpApi.Org
When you think of someone who’s burnt out, you probably picture a person who is fatigued and unproductive, constantly ill, dropping the ball at home or work and hitting the wall emotionally.
But, would you recognise burnout in someone still on top of deadlines, with a clean house, full diary and soaring career?
Probably not – but “high-functioning burnout”, as it’s known, is a reality, and the better you seem to be doing in life the greater the risk you might suffer from it.
“I work with a lot of clients who experience this kind of burnout – they’re often very successful leaders, entrepreneurs or even athletes,” says Sophie Scott, a psychotherapist and author of You Are Not Alone In This. Scott went through burnout herself in her previous career as the head of a start-up.
“Our nervous systems are designed to move between a state of activation and recovery. It’s very normal to experience stress and to meet that challenge, then afterwards return to a state of rest and an equilibrium – that’s a very healthy rhythm. The problem for those with high-functioning burnout is that they don’t ever go back to that rest, because there is always another goal, another project or promotion or milestone to reach. Physiologically, their bodies never return to restoration – it is postponed indefinitely.”
This kind of high-functioning burnout is a chronic state of “hyper” arousal which looks like someone firing on all cylinders, but which puts them on the precipice of “hypo” arousal – the more commonly understood state of burnout when someone freezes, becomes depressed or withdraws, “like an animal playing dead”, says Scott.
So, what are the subtle warning signs to watch out for?
You’re a perfectionist, and you’re on a roll at work
If the wins are coming thick and fast, you’ve been promoted, you’re travelling for meetings and you’ve always got the next big event to work towards, your full diary and intense schedule could be a red flag in and of themselves.
We live in a society that sanctifies productivity and associates achievement with self-worth, so the signs of high-functioning burnout are often praised and rewarded, “creating a very dangerous feedback loop that these individuals find it hard to step away from”, says Scott.
“We know that you’re more prone to burnout if you’re a perfectionist or a high achiever, but society rewards these traits so much so that the very behaviours that contribute to your burnout are the behaviours you’ve been praised for all your life, that have formed your very identity.”
Free time freaks you out
Rather than being restorative, taking time off or going on holiday can feel very uncomfortable for someone trapped in the cycle of high-functioning burnout – even if it’s exactly what they need. “When you’re so accustomed to filling every waking moment with being ‘productive’, you can struggle to enjoy free time or even to imagine what to do with it,” says counsellor and psychotherapist Georgina Sturmer. “Resting can, ironically, make someone who’re chronically stressed feel worse because there is nowhere to channel that anxiety, and not being able to tackle the to-do list that’s constantly humming in the back of their mind feels unsettling.
“For some, overwork can also be a way of avoiding being alone with their thoughts, so sitting without distraction is the last thing that appeals.”
A classic tactic of someone in high-functioning burnout is to plan a jam-packed activity trip. Although they’re not pacing around poolside when they should be sitting on a sunlounger, they’re still indulging in a displacement activity which feeds their hyper arousal. “People who find themselves in this state are in a constant pursuit of perfection and often very competitive. Their bodies become used to running on so much cortisol, and a difficult hike or some kind of adventure challenge is a typical outlet. But actually they should be doing the opposite – like a meditation retreat or tai chi.”
You can’t stop scrolling
You might not be able to relax, but if the only way you find yourself able to “zone out” is by doomscrolling, it could be another bad sign. “You’re too exhausted to meaningfully engage with life, but you’re too activated to truly rest,” says Sophie Scott. “I think of it as a kind of psychological waiting room. You’re not enjoying it, but it’s a way to numb yourself and a way of checking out.”
It’s also a symptom of the compulsive urge to multi-task that accompanies high-functioning burnout, says Sturmer. “Our lives have become so unboundaried. It used to be that you came home from work and you didn’t have a phone or access to the office in the evenings, but now not only does our work life encroach on our home life but there’s all the personal admin, messages to respond to, plates to spin that can be done from our devices.” This perpetuates the cycle of feeling that every moment has to be spent doing something useful.
You feel resentful, but don’t ask for help
“Saying ‘yes’ has become a reflex for many of my clients with symptoms of this sort of burnout – but on the inside there’s often a simmering resentment that others are not helping, coupled with a refusal to actually ask for that help, or to turn it down when it’s offered in the belief that, ‘It’ll be quicker or easier if I do it myself,’” says Sturmer.
It’s particularly a sign she sees in women on the brink of burnout – and the template might have been set in childhood.
“If we grew up in a home or in an environment where it was really important to be a ‘good girl’, to be a people-pleaser, then we often take those behaviours into our adult lives,” says Sturmer. “Women often talk about the mental load, carrying that cognitive load of the endless to-do list of things that need to be done, the social arrangements, the caregiving, whether it’s for children or for parents, understanding what’s needed for dinner and all of those ‘little’ things. When we think about burnout we do often think about those in high-powered jobs, but I have absolutely seen what I consider to be high-functioning burnout in stay-at-home parents, too.”
You’ve been feeling lonely
Perhaps unsurprisingly, when you’ve found yourself doing it all alone, you start to feel somewhat lonely. Feeling isolated is a clear sign of high-functioning burnout, and one Scott felt strongly herself when running her media company. Alongside a variety of physical symptoms, “above all was this feeling of isolation. When I was a founder – if you’re any type of leader – you are often carrying everybody else’s feelings and concerns, and you don’t have many places to share your own struggles,” she says.
“Through that I learned that sharing is one of the biggest antidotes that you can have when it comes to burnout. People don’t need perfection, they need to be trustworthy and authentic and it’s fine to seek support rather than masking your needs.
“Burnout is not a sign of weakness, it’s a consequence of being too strong for too long without enough support in place.”
