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The “boomerang kids” phenomenon, where adult children leave the nest only to move back in later, is becoming the norm for some young people, according to a 2026 survey by Thrivent Financial. (1) Many parents are opening their doors, and their wallets, to help their adult kids weather sky-high costs.
But personal finance expert Suze Orman says there’s one thing that parents should absolutely not do when helping their adult children: put their own retirement savings on hold.
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In a recent blog post, Orman warned that while you may want to help your kids out of love and care, reducing your own retirement contributions to do it could actually create bigger financial problems for everyone later on. (2)
More parents are supporting adult children
According to the Thrivent survey, more than 40% of parents with children ages 18 to 35 said an adult child had moved back home at some point. (1) Roughly half said it happened because of financial reasons, while others said it was a strategic way for the adult kids to save for a down payment or cut down on their living expenses.
The same survey found that more than 40% of parents are willing to cut back on their own spending to help adult children financially, while nearly one in five said they would reduce retirement savings to provide that support.
And this is the trend that Orman takes issue with.
Orman says, “...don’t you dare stop saving for retirement. That is the opposite of being a good parent.”
Her logic is that every dollar skipped today doesn’t just reduce your retirement balance by a dollar, it also eliminates years or even decades of potential compound growth. Missing contributions during your peak earning years can have a significant impact on the size of your retirement nest egg.
Orman’s warning lands at a time when many Americans are already falling behind on retirement savings.
According to the Federal Reserve’s 2022 Survey of Consumer Finances, the median retirement account balance for families with main income earners aged 55 to 64 was $185,000. (3)
This is an amount that may need to last decades as people live longer. The Census Bureau estimates that the number of centenarians (people aged 100 years or older) will more than quadruple over the next few decades. (4)
Orman argues that parents who underfund their own retirement today could end up shifting financial pressure onto those same adult children later, when they’re trying to raise families, pay mortgages and save for retirement themselves.
How to help your adult kids without putting your future at risk
The key is not sacrificing your own long-term security and becoming a burden to your children.
Here are some strategies you can consider:
- Offer housing instead of cash. Letting your kid to live at home temporarily can help them save and doesn’t require you to drain retirement accounts. You can help everyone stay on track by setting some expectations around timelines and how to manage household expenses.
- Create a savings goal together. If your child moves home to save for a down payment or pay off debt, encourage them to leverage automatic savings and to set target dates so the arrangement stays temporary and is purposeful.
- Protect your retirement contributions. Consider treating your retirement savings as a non-negotiable monthly expense. If you have extra money after meeting your own monthly goals, then you can think about providing additional support if you want to.
- Help with planning. Reviewing a budget, discussing career opportunities or helping navigate major financial decisions can sometimes be more valuable than writing a check.
Orman’s broader message is that good parenting isn’t always about solving today’s financial problems. Sometimes it’s about making hard decisions that could help prevent challenges in the future.
Before saying yes to financial support that comes at the expense of retirement, she encourages parents to ask themselves whether the decision will help or hurt their financial security five, 10 or 20 years from now.
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Ipsos (1); Suze Orman (2); U.S. Federal Reserve (3); AARP (4)
This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.
